


Heart Nonsense

by Rumoris



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Everyone is miserable, M/M, Slow Burn, it's a little bit more than that, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2018-11-02 07:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumoris/pseuds/Rumoris
Summary: The famous coffee of Yongen changes the hearts of people. Or at least, that's what the urban legends say. Akechi Goro is not sure about that rumour, and honestly, couldn't care less, but even without the miracle coffee he knows that Leblanc is a place where he can hide away from the world and forget about his life.





	1. Chapter 1

            They say that there is a rundown café in Yongen-Jaya where the famous Miracle Maker creates miracles through coffees and cocoas, changing the hearts of people as they drink. Nobody knows the secret behind the miracles. If you are a regular with some heavy burden weighing you down, the barista will always know what to get you. That drink will make you see life in a completely new colour and while it won’t make your problems disappear, you will know what to do about them. The catch is, you can’t get this miracle coffee as a regular order. It appears in the right time, when you need it the most and for free, too.

This rumoured drink made the cafè quite famous among regulars, but newcomers, who heard about it in urban legends often disappeared after a few visits or just dropped in for special occasions, never really reaching the title of a regular. Even if the wanted to get that Miracle Coffee, the location required way too much time as travelling there could take an hour at best. This alone disheartened them from visiting the place more than once. Though, the famed barista of Leblanc, Kurusu Akira didn’t mind this a bit. Becoming popular would only mean more work and that he couldn’t focus on the individuals, who visited him on a daily weekly basis.

Furthermore, considering the newest visitor of Leblanc, he couldn’t afford slacking off right now.

Akechi Goro came into his life on a cold day at the end of March. Akira could clearly see that the boy, despite the rather warm-looking trench coat, was shivering. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold wind. However, his tense shoulders seemed to thaw out as soon as he sat down in one of the booths and with great curiosity, started reading through the list of beverages the café had to offer. Either he didn’t want to greet the barista or simply forgot in his frozen state.

 From the youth’s looks, the serious expression he wore from the moment he entered the place, Akira had already knew that he will probably order some espresso-based coffee. People like him tend to feign seriousness, after all. They often don’t even like the pitch black liquid, but keeping their mask in place, they drink it, hating every bitter drop of it.

 Then they sigh.

 It looks like they enjoyed their drink, but in reality they are just happy that they managed to keep up their act.

To his surprise, the process of choosing took some time, he had to make four cups of coffees,  and by the time his gaze wandered back to the booth, the newcomer already got rid of his beige coat. Akira couldn’t help but smile at the determination what clouded the boy’s face as he kept turning the pages of the menu back and forth. Then, he closed the small notebook shaped menu at once, looked at the ceiling, then at Akira, then reopened it again.

However, when the brunet walked over to the counter and made his order that surprised even the young barista.

“Have you decided?”

“Yes. I think I did manage to find something in the end...” a faint smile crept its way to the stranger’s face. “Can you brew sweet ginger coffee, please? It has piqued my interest and I’m rather curious about it.”

Akira couldn’t help but stare at him with slight disbelief. Probably for the first time since he started working at Leblanc a stranger managed to contradict his interpretation.

“O-of course. Something else, perhaps?”

“Have I said something weird? You look confused, betrayed, even.”

Great. This is his chance to start some kind of conversation with this stranger. This could help him.

“No. Not at all. I just rarely get to brew that coffee,” he gave the youth a small, apologetic smile. “You just surprised me with you order. That’s all.”

It was a half-lie. One of the many harmless fibs, which he made up on the spot whenever he was confronted by a situation above his league. Actually, that popularity of that drink resurfaces every autumn, though nobody would think about ordering them past December. _“It has that December-ish Christmasy taste._ ” Futaba, his friend, once explained to him.

And there, he saw it. The small glint of curiosity in those brown eyes.

“Interesting. Would that make me one of a kind then?” he supposed, touching his chin with his gloved fingers.

“Absolutely.” He quickly turned away, pretending to be overly occupied by the art of coffee. He decided it was a now or never chance to get to know this peculiar stranger a bit more.  “Is this your first time in Yongen?”

The boy was seemingly taken aback. He hesitated and averted his gaze before answering. “Well, kind of. Rather, my first time in this part of Yongen-Jaya.”

“Oh. So that means, you _do_ live around here.”

“Okay. Wait.”

Suddenly, the youth walked back to his booth. At first, Akira thought he had said something weird or acted overly familiar and scared him away. But soon, a sense of relief came over him when he saw the boy collecting his belongings; the trench coat and a brown bag. When he returned he took a seat on the bar stool in front of Akira and arranged his stuff on the one next to him.

“Sorry. It’s easier to talk when I don’t have to constantly glance at bag.” then once he realized what he’d just implied, he quickly added “I-It’s not like this place looks _unsafe_. But better safe than sorry.”

“It’s all right. I understand,” he nodded, and then turned back to the cup of coffee in front of him adding ginger, then milk while he was at it. “Here.” He put the cup down in front of the boy. “So, back to the question; do you live around here?”

“Hm...” the youth looked up from his coffee. “ …Yes. Well, actually I live in the neighbouring district. Few stops away from here... but I started working at the local police office about a week ago.”

“Then welcome to Yongen-jaya, where nothing ever happens!” Akira smiled at him proudly.

“It’s not something you should be saying to a police inspector. A too calm district might make me go to Shibuya instead.” The boy chuckled, then took a sip from his drink.

Akira expected some kind of flattering. _“This coffee was better than I expected”_ or something along the lines, but the boy only sat there, staring holes into the brown liquid. Lost in thought, he raised the cup to his lips again. He must’ve been one of those people who tell no opinions when they like something and solve everything with one single “It’s good” when someone does ask for a rating.

Furrowed brows and a troubled expression accompanied his obviously fake smile.

“Is everything okay?” Akira inquired after several minutes of silence. The brunet yelped. Probably the barista’s voice brought him out of the daydream.

“Ah, sorry. I-I didn’t intend to be rude.”

“Long day?”

“Just longer than necessary.” The stranger corrected Akira with a tired smile. It was one of those reassuring kind of fake smiles.

“In this case, you are always welcomed here for a cup of coffee. Or two.” he added.

“If every cup of coffee will be this pleasant, then I’m looking forward coming here more often.”

“In that case, the name is Kurusu Akira. The one and only barista of this café, ‘cept for the the boss of course.”

The stranger finished his coffee before looking around as if he was searching his surroundings for someone.

“Akechi Goro.” he introduced himself, then continued in a much softer tone, following Akira’s example. “Ex-detective prince. Nowadays nobody special.”

His voice was barely audible but Akira still made out a myriad of emotions hidden behind his words. Emotions he wished to explore more. To understand and to use them.

It was the clash of two contradictory thoughts, of selflessness and selfishness.

Akechi Goro caught his attention and did not release it. However, he will need more than one miracle in the youth’s life if he wants to replace that fake smile of his.

Fortunately for him, Akira was always up to these kind of challenges.

 

***

 

A shiver ran down his spine after he stepped out to the cold air. The day has already turned into night and the streetlamps weakly lighted his way as he walked through the narrow streets.

As he went forward, he felt that all the warmth had left his body. Reverting back to his everyday self was everything but comfortable. However the taste of ginger and cinnamon still lingered in his mouth and reminded him that the little miracle of the café had indeed happened.

Come to think of it, that was actually one of the best things that happened to him lately.

“Leblanc…” Akechi made a quick mental note to return here whenever his time allowed. He wasn’t so keen on returning to his apartment sooner than it was necessary.

To set his plan into motion he decided to stop by a used bookstore on his way home. He can’t bother the barista all the time, after all.


	2. Fake Smile

The days after that were about Akira trying to find some kind of system in Goro’s coffee orders.

The likes and dislikes often told more about a person than a thousand words long essay. This was Akira’s pathology.

            It also helped him uncover some hidden characteristics. Sometimes a girl who looked ordinary and led an average life would sit on the train reading about gruesome murders and twisted fantasies. But a boy who looked like your typical school bully would walk into the café holding a classic children’s book about the galactic railroad. Looks and lifestyle  had nothing to do with someone’s inner, real self.

 

So obviously, he tried to understand Goro from this viewpoint. First, he started with looks.

On a closer inspection, the youth was sickly pale. And unlike a person who acquired, or rather, lost their colours due to not spending enough time under the sun, the inspector even managed to get some dark circles under his eyes. A sign of fatigue. So, this kind of paleness had to have a connection to the boy’s psyche and his tendency to bottle up everything.

Goro mostly gave him fake smiles and certainly not because Akira irritated him. If that was the case he wouldn’t visit Leblanc almost every night only to sit at the counter and talk t him. No. The fakery was mostly for himself and it served as a lock to keep his lies in check. As sad as that can be, Goro was constantly fooling himself.

 These smiles served as glue on his broken mask. Akira had seen similar people a lot, especially around spring and when life-turning events took place in people’s lives. He often called them dishonest liars. While everyone had their own reasons to lie or fib, these kinds of liars not only lied to their environment, but to themselves. As they got deeper and deeper into the spiral of life, they started to get tangled of in the fake image they created. However, the moment they were forced to rip the mask off and confess their lies or face the consequences, the glue burned their skin. Usually they broke like fragile porcelain dolls under the weight of lies.

Since Goro was a serious case of a dishonest liar, Akira had to be careful so he wouldn’t hurt him. Sadly, his miracle didn’t affect people who lied to themselves. He needed to get off that mask of lies first.

But even after he managed to solve one side of the puzzle he had to realize that, Akechi Goro was an unpredictable entity. The man of contradictions.

 

Even Akira’s first guess about Goro liking the bitter taste of espresso was soon thrown into the trash. On a night, when he brought it up after seeing the boy’s tired eyes. The young inspector said “Please, don’t ever recommend me something so bitter.”

Akira took this request to heart. Ever since that incident whenever Goro was at loss on what to drink, he recommended something sweet. It did the trick, but even after a week, he never revealed the root of his dislike for the bitter taste.

 

The third realization regarding Goro came when books appeared next to his orders. Psychological, crime, non-fiction. Akira had to wonder if he ever read lighter books or thinking about crime and justice was all he ever did.

“You looked deep in thought yesterday when you’ve read that book.” he noted when Goro decided to sit on the barstool, instead of his regular booth. This time, he ordered a simple cappuccino.

The inspector looked puzzled for a moment.

“Really? I haven’t even noticed.”

“That’s what so great about reading. I think it’s good that a book can catch your attention. Doesn’t this means, that you have strong focus?”

“I’m honestly not sure.” Goro quickly escaped Akira’s curious eyes by looking at his coffee. “I always thought it was because I’ve loved escapism these books provided. I can hop into a completely different world, without ever thinking about real life. I’m not sure if it’s related to me being focused.”

“Hmhm.” Akira nodded. “So another escapist, huh? Any favourite genres, since we are at it?”

Probably it was just Akira’s imagination, but Goro looked almost embarrassed. Definitely surprised when the barista asked him about… well… himself. The youth hesitated with his answer.

“Uh. Usually, I can get into mystery and crime novels. But I enjoy books about… well…topics that make me think? Yeah, thinking! That’s it. I love solving the cases before the main character does...It helped me a lot back in the days.” Goro heaved a sigh.

 

And Akira gained another piece of the puzzle called Akechi Goro. He carefully put it next to the youth’s other pieces and started thinking about the connection. In the end he got to a shocking conclusion which lingered in the back of his mind for about a week now.

The inspector was not only broken. He was shattered into million pieces, then put back together by an unknown force. The gloomy eyes, unkempt hair, the tired and fake smiles and the tiny little hints gave him away. Was his heart still intact?

 

Akira decided to go deeper, finding the key pieces for the full picture.

“Healthy escapism is great, but it can also poison a person if they start living for it.”

“In my opinion, some people only have escapism to live for.” Goro said with furrowed brows. “If this were some kind of fantasy-world I would understand that escapism is bad, but then again, _as_ an inspector, I can see why some people choose that over developing their lives and themselves. Sometimes the harshness of real life is unfit for a human soul.”

_Certainly,_ Goro had this way of thinking because of his job.

Akira felt a twinge of guilt for bringing up a topic like this. He ventured into a dangerous territory. He wanted to make a tricky comeback, but in the end all he could say was:

    “That’s an interesting point of view.”

“Not scary or weird?” he looked surprised.

“You are asking a barista out of all people. I won’t… I can’t judge you for preferring a fantasy. Sometimes the customers, who sit right where you do, bring up heavier topics than mere escapism.”

“What do you mean?”  Goro asked. “I always thought baristas only had to deal with flirts and people like me.”

“Hey, I love people like you! You’re one of the many reasons I still work here.”  He said shamelessly. Goro, not knowing where to look or how to react just sipped at his coffee. “Suicidal thoughts, abuse, violent thoughts, cheatings… Despite living a boring life, I had to face many of those topics because I’m a barista.”

He regretted mentioning this, but fortunately Goro decided to focus on a different meaning this time. Or so it seemed.

“So, does that mean that you offer counselling?”

Akira laughed heartily at that.

“Depends on who wants my help. If it’s you, I’ll gladly give you my mail address too. You could call me to talk about your day and all. I would lend you an ear while thinking about what coffee will fit your mood tomorrow. I could be your district barista.”

“That’s nice of you, Mr. Miracle Barista, but I don’t think I’m in need of counselling and using you as my emotional garbage can would make me feel awful. What if I ruin the coffee you make? Also, you would get bored of me constantly complaining about paperwork, because believe me, that’s what I’d do.”  

“Is that a challenge, Akechi? Want to see if I can listen to you complain?” Akira teased him with a smile, and pulled out a phone from his jeans pocket. His glasses reflected Goro’s terrified expression.

The youth just sat there, completely dumbfounded, before lifting his gloved hand to his face.

“I see. I just can’t win against you… Too bad, I left my phone at home, so maybe next time.” He gave Akira a rueful smile.

“Yes. There is always a next time.”

For now Akira could let that slide. There was no reason to question Goro about his phone, which was certainly hidden in his pocket as always. He knew it well; there was no way a person like him, an inspector on top of that would leave his home without a digital collar.

 

Getting to know someone who wants to keep himself away from people is hard.

 

He could always try the other way, though. Instead of knocking on Goro’s door he could invite him over to his own realm. He can’t force the other, but there is nothing against nudging him a little bit.

The idea seemed brilliant. All he just needed was to…

“I’ll be back in a moment,” he blurted and stormed away from the counter. The steps creaked as he ran upstairs.

 

Goro could only blink, not understanding a single thing that was happening that evening. However, considering that Leblanc was always… a bit out of the ordinary, he just waited patiently, finishing his coffee while Akira trashed the room above him like an enraged big cat. He was pretty sure the barista either fell or managed to knock over a lamp. The noises just wouldn’t cease.

After minutes of waiting, loud footsteps echoed in the café and Akira quickly returned to his place, holding a red book.

Goro prayed for his instincts to be wrong.

“I’ve been planning to give you this for a week now.”

The book had a black cat on the cover. It was probably meant for children.

“I can’t take it.”  

“But I want you to read it.” Akira insisted, putting down the book in front of him.

“You shouldn’t trust me with a book. I’ll just ruin it.”

Goro tried to find an easy window for escape, but arguing with Akira was like trying to push a donkey away from the middle of the road. What a stubborn kid.

However, it seemed to work because after eight tries, Goro finally gave in and took the book.

“Furigana…” he observed as he opened it.

“Don’t judge it so easily.”

“Right. I’ll give it a shot, because it looks like you won’t let me leave Leblanc if I don’t take this book with me.”

Akira chuckled, taking the empty cup from Goro. “I’m hundred percent sure about that.”

The inspector collected his belongings and he left Leblanc after he put the red book in his bag. He made sure that the barista saw it, then left for the night.

 

Suddenly, the café grew quiet. Usually most of the customers already went home when Akechi Goro arrived (possible from his work) and many people preferred to get coffee in the morning rush and in the afternoon.

As he was closing the door, Akira found himself wanting to see more of that bright, but yet tiny smile. He’d greet him every evening, lend him an ear just to understand the mightiest puzzle of all.

_I can’t believe I gave him a children’s book,_ he thought to himself, before locking the door. It was the whitest lie he ever told. He never planned to give him a book, let alone a book about cats learning to read. He also never planned to seriously consider befriending Akechi Goro. But then, the subject turned into a person.

“Guess today is the day of surprises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think, like the concept of honest and dishonest liars a bit too much.
> 
> Also, in this chapter I mentioned some Japanese books. One of them was Night on the Galactic Express by Kenji Miyazawa, he will probably appear one ore time. The second was Hiroshi Saitou's Rudolf and Ippai Attena. They're not vital for the story, though.


	3. A Solution for Miracles

            It was already April when Akechi Goro has witnessed Leblanc’s Miracle for the first time. He was sitting at his usual booth, revising paperwork he’d taken home with him. The deadline for the report they’d given him was due tomorrow and he wasn’t so keen on having his superior shouting his head off. Goro also despised the depressing atmosphere of the office. Next to him at least four phone rang in canon, creating a brain-numbing orchestra all day long. When someone did decide to do their job and finally take the phone, the room was filled with apologies, details, questions. He looked up whenever someone uttered murder as the type of the crime, hoping that it was his time to solve the case, but quickly shooed away his newborn hope.

            There was no way for a low-ranked inspector like him to work on field. All he ever did was to summarise the cases and do the paperwork for the superior officers. He’d arrived to the point where it was impossible to advance forward.

            Oh, and he refilled the coffee machine now and then. His co-workers always found complaining more important than doing something for the cause. In the end, they would probably refill the machine with coffee beans, but Goro wanted to add this to his list of jobs important around the office.

            Compared to that, sitting at Leblanc and listening to the silence was a blessing and he could get through work almost effortlessly, or so he felt. He smiled at the thought how even work felt relaxing. Also, there was Kurusu Akira, the barista, whose presence just made everything better.  Goro was almost disappointed whenever he met the café’s owner, because those days were always strangely quiet. But then again, it would’ve been foolish to think that Kurusu would spend his life working.

But on a certain day, he managed to catch him along with a glimpse of a miracle.

 

            It was late afternoon when a girl walked in. Shoulder length brown hair, and gloomy eyes. She wore school uniform, and black loafers. She sat in front of Kurusu not ordering anything for a while.

“Kurusu-kun…” she started, hanging her head down as if she was still searching for the words she wished to share with him.

            To Akechi’s surprise the barista had everything under control and took control over the writhing conversation.

“The entrance exams are nearing, right?”

            The girl only nodded.

“But I still haven’t decided on how to continue. I can’t imagine myself in college.”

            Akechi pretended to work on his reports but from time and time again glanced at the two. He wondered if Kurusu acted like this with everyone. Deep down, he wished he was an exception.

            The conversation next to him continued onward… The negative emotions slowly got suffocating, even for Goro who had nothing to do with her problems. However, he wouldn’t miss the moment when Akira walked over to the cupboard and got a glass mug.

“Why is that? You always studied hard before the exams and you passed all of them with flying colours. You certainly have the brains for college.” Akira poured something into the cup before adding coffee itself or so it seemed.

“Studying is different.”

“Really?” Akira raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He put the drink in front of the girl.

            _It looks magnificent,_ thought Akechi. The coffee in front of the girl had three different layers, divided into two different shades of brown with white in the middle. He had only seen something like this only in commercials and pictures so seeing it coming from Kurusu left him in awe.

It seemed to have similar effect on the girl. Goro could only see her back, but despite that, her voice reflected her feelings perfectly well.

“It’s on the house.” Akira reassured her with a warm smile. “For supporting the café in your highschooler years.”

“Kurusu-kun…” As she tasted the drink, her words started flooding out. All the pent up feelings she held back over these months were back.

“I think I’m scared. Even if my grades are good now, I don’t really have anything I could or I wanted to do. Everyone else around me acts like they have life figured out, so I thought, what a loser I am. Not even knowing what to do with my future…” she started. “But everyone tells me this is what I should be doing. Aiming higher and _high_ er. But I don’t think I want that.”

            Akira only gave her a sympathetic smile. He didn’t try to give advice to the girl or trying to help her in any way, just lent her an ear. He let the girl drink the coffee and soon, after negative emotions, her words have changed and her tone became softer.

“But being scared of the future is stupid, right?” she asked with a rueful smile. “My highschool life was really enjoyable, so I’m scared that college won’t live up to my expectations. But I think deep down, I know I’d regret never trying. Maybe even if I don’t end up being an author or a person who works in the literature sphere, I can use that time to get experiences and decide on what I really want to do.”

            She nodded to herself.

“Yes. Kurusu-kun, I know what you meant back then.”

“Back then?” the barista asked, readjusting his glasses. A playful smile appeared on his lips, so he probably clearly remembered his words. Goro could only smirk at the theatrical aspects of the whole confession, but couldn’t help being completely mesmerized by the sudden outburst of emotions from the girl.

            “You don’t remember?” the girl asked dumbfounded. “You told me, that by sitting and waiting I won’t achieve anything. But when I move forward I give chance to new opportunities and I might even find the answers I seek.”

“My memory is foggy, but perhaps I did say something similar to that.” he wondered with a smirk.

“Well it’s only important for me anyway so you are not required to recite everything you say.” she said, her voice rang with disappointment before finishing her latte. And with that the miracle just disappeared, as if the colours were drained from the atmosphere. “Well, thank you, Kurusu-kun.”

            The barista nodded, and the girl, having her thoughts in order, left the café. Goro couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of sadness in Akira’s eyes.

“She won’t come back.” Akira answered the unasked question, then slumped down on the chair behind the counter. “They never come back.”

            Goro stood up and curiously went to his usually place, leaving his bag at the booth he occupied before the scene. He’d come to learn that in Leblanc due to the lack of customers around the time of his visits, there was no need to be worried about someone stealing them.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well,“ he began, pulling the chair closer to the inspector, so they were sitting in front of each other now. “When things like this happen, they just don’t. I guess, every miracle has its price. Usually once the regular who has some serious heartache drinks the coffee I just made up on the spot, they can see a clearer picture of their problem along with their answer or a way to solve them. I can add the drink I came up with to the menu, but the regular will eventually disappear.”

”Even after coming here for years?”

“Even after coming here for years.” he chuckled to himself.

 

            Goro thought about it for a while. Urban legends indeed appeared on the forums and the coffee that changes one’s heart was among them, but he never believed in it. He couldn’t even believe it after witnessing the effect of the said drink.

            Yet, he had come to an immediate decision.

            Back then, he once asked Akira something similar. His request was driven by pure hatred for the person who was connected to it. Now, he had to face a sole thought that the chance of a miracle would torture him for the days to come.

All he could do was to prevent Akira from ever bringing a miracle near him.

“Please, don’t ever brew me a coffee like that.”

            His problems couldn’t be solved by a single cup of coffee. Or even if it was possible, losing Leblanc would leave a hole in his heart he would be dying to fill and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out the miracle coffee is not so miraculous.


	4. No logic

            Even after a week Goro’s words still echoed in his mind. Someone, who wasn’t after solutions to their own problems surprised Akira, but also terrified him. A broken person was stronger in heart than anyone … could it be? It was unthinkable. Everyone wanted inner peace or at least a little help with their daily problems.

            So he decided to try something. At first, pure curiosity drove his actions and now they’ve certainly morphed into something more holding only positive feelings and good intention.

 

“I’ve been thinking, Akechi.” He told him one day, when Goro was sitting in front of him.

“Should I be scared or deeply concerned?”

“You’ve earned the regular rank, but you don’t want a change of heart.” Akira handed him a yellow envelope. So… I want you to take this.”

Goro carefully eyed the envelope. Probably trying to find out, whether or not Akira’d hidden a letter bomb within.

After making sure that he won’t die from it, Goro carefully opened the envelope and found a hand made little sticker collector card.

“I already took liberties and added one for you.” Akira said pointing at the tiny crow sticker. “When you collect four, you can order something free of charge. It’s your barista calling card.”

Goro was taken aback by the unexplained and seemingly baseless kindness, and there was also slight hesitation in his expression. “Free of miracles?”

“Absolutely.” Akira nodded. “It’s your order. So you get what you ordered without _any_ miracles.”

“Hmm… Does that mean… if I feel awful _, truly_ awful, then I have the chance to drink something for free in order to make me feel better without risking your uncommon… talent?”

“Well, yes. I don’t want you to feel awful, though,” Akira scratched his chin.

“Don’t worry. That’s a basic mood I have for most of my days,” Goro forced a smile. He tried voicing his honest feelings regarding his life, but being honest was worse than he had anticipated. However, it also felt good that he could say that out loud after years of pretending.

He didn’t miss the worry that flashed through Akira’s eyes, yet at the same time he was happy that the words following it were much lighter and followed their usual conversation routine.

“Should I add a morning coffee delivery option to your home or workplace, perhaps?” Akira flashed him a smile.

“That would be nice. But alas, only a futile attempt to lighten my mood.” Goro chuckled. “The coupon is a nice idea I must admit. Although, I’m not sure I’ll live with it...”

“It’s only an option. You don’t need to use it if you don’t want to.”  

Goro hesitated but slid the paper into his wallet. One might never know, after all. Actually, he might’ve even accepted coffee from Akira every morning.

It would’ve been a weird concept, but not something he couldn't get used to.

However those mornings probably wouldn’t come with their usual harmless discussions. Akira would quickly lose the perfect and balanced image of him once he saw what his real life looked like outside of Leblanc’s walls.

 

What a hopeless liar he was.

 

*   *   *

 

A week has passed and Goro was already nearing his second cup of free coffee. Each time he visited, Akira asked for that damnable coupon and plastered a silly crow sticker on it. Worst is, he couldn’t say no. So right now, he had eight crows singing dancing and doing all kind of embarrassingly cute things, almost as if they were inviting him to use them. He felt like a kid who got a candy for being good at kindergarten.

What’s worse, even Sojiro took over the habit of giving him stickers.

Goro was bewildered when the man added another one to his growing bird collection.

 

He kept saying that he didn’t need free coffee and that he had enough money to afford it. Or something along the lines. Every time he came up with a different excuse.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) nobody took mercy on him.

 

Even he couldn’t have predicted the disaster that awaited him as soon, as he finished that crime novel he was reading. Children’s literature.

 

As an adult it was hard to admit, but as a student he barely read anything written for his demographic. Probably the fact, that he never had any chance to read these kinds of books would’ve served as a mitigating factor, but he hated to admit it. His home never had anything suitable for children and by the time he knew how to read, Goro’s mind was focused on stories with much darker themes. When he did give them a chance, he ended up envying the protagonists, so he eventually decided not to torture himself and just read summaries for his summer readings.

Sadly, what he never admitted was that it was more than just envy.

 

At the age of four his mother never felt the need to buy him books. She had other problems.

At the age of six his stepfather tore apart his only picture book.

After that, he gave up on childish wonders.

 

So it made him smile because at the age of twenty three, Akechi Goro opened a book intended for eight years olds for the first time in his life. The first thing he noticed that it had plenty of illustrations of cats. Black cats, tabby cats, calicos and grey ones. A smile appeared on his face as he started reading the silly book.

 

* * *

 

The afternoon at Leblanc was quieter than what Akira was used to. The customers kept chatting with each other and his favourite inspector buried his nose into…well, it seemed like the book he had lent him weeks ago. Akira often found him smiling whenever there were no customers at the counter and he had some minutes to catch his breath. However, as they neared the evening, each little pause showed him something different.

 

A capuccino. Goro had a tiny smile on his face.

A bicerin. He saw him thinking.

A chai latte. Worry clouded his face.

A fruit tea. Eyes red, he held his breath and tried not to cry.

 

When there were no more orders to be finished, he eagerly awaited the moment when he could slip away from behind the counter. He wanted to put Goro before work, but his sense of duty held him down.

So Akira waited, constantly glancing toward the customers. Obviously, they didn't hurry with their drinks.

_Why would they._ Akira thought with exasperation, fingers tapping on the table.

He was ready to throw himself over the counter in the moment the last customer left the place. In his frustration he started warming milk. As if that could solve his problems.

And at first, he really had no serious goals with it, just warmed milk for the sake of doing something. Then a tiny idea appeared at the back of his mind. True kindness led his hands, trying to precisely measure the ingredients and by the time he finished, the last customer had left Leblanc. It was only him and Goro.

 

Akira carefully slid out of the kitchen and brought the mug toward the brunet’s booth. As he placed it on the table, Goro looked at him, betrayal clearly visible on his face.

“I told you, I don’t need anything miraculous,” he growled.

 

Upon closer inspection, Akira saw the wetness on Goro’s lashes and the redness of his eyes also served as tell-tale signs. The youth had been fighting with the urge to cry for about a half hour now.

“It’s nothing miraculous. You can give me one of your freebie coupons and it’ll look like a purchase. Or you can wait fifteen minutes until closing time, so it will be just a friend making another friend a drink... But it will go cold.” he sat down next to Goro and held out his hand toward him. Reluctantly, but the inspector handed him the coupon from his wallet. Akira proudly added a tiny ‘x’ next to the first row.

Goro was hesitant as he pulled the mug away from the barista. Akira seemed to sense some vague suspicion coming from him, so he added:

“It’s nothing special. Unless you call mixing sugar, cocoa powder and milk a miracle.”

“With you everything is possible.”

“Oh, you flatter me.” he chuckled. “So what was it? I couldn’t help but notice that something made you quite... Ruffled.”

Silence joined them. Goro looked at the closed book in front of him before letting out a sigh.

“Nothing. Really. I’m just not used to something going against reason and logic.”

“So, you got teary eyed.” Akira added with a nod. “Right. You can tell me what made you so angry so maybe we can find logic behind it. I won’t laugh at you.”

“It’s a children’s book for…” Goro said in disbelief.

“Well, they tend to have this effect. Though, this book never struck me as a sentimental story. I can’t help but be extremely curious… I wonder what caught your attention.”

Goro reluctantly tasted the cocoa before deciding to share some of his experiences with Akira. The sweet taste somewhat calmed him. “It’s about how easily the protagonist gave up on his old life. The entire book is about him working hard, enduring, learning, then at the end, he just leaves before completing his goal. He could’ve had a happy end!”

“By kicking out his little brother?” Akira raised an eyebrow. Apparently in the book, the cat got home and was confronted by his almost identical younger brother who was a year younger.

“He was a nobody to him. So why not? I’m pretty sure the girl would’ve welcomed him back.”

“Oh, would she? I always thought the protagonist choose wisely and did what was the best for both of them on the long run. If he stayed, the girl would have to choose between him and his brother. Remember, they were only allowed to keep one pet. If his brother found out about him being the ‘lost’ cat, that would make him feel bad for taking his place even if it wasn’t his choice.”

“So he cowardly gave up on happiness.” Goro told him, voice already hoarse from the wave of emotions.

“Did he? I don’t think he did that,” Akira told him, readjusting his glasses before taking the book from the table. Goro’d just finished the chapter he was talking about. The conclusion was still waiting for him. “Think about like this, what is true happiness for the protagonist? He gave up on a part of his life, but did he give up on happiness itself? Try thinking about that when you reach the last page.”

“You expect me to find these kind of hidden messages in a children’s book.” Goro said in a dead-panned voice.

“Yes. In a children’s book.” Akira put down the book. “You would be surprised by the depth of them. At the university, they were my favourite types of literature, actually!”

“I... I never really had a chance to read them so I have no idea what are you talking about.” he told Akira light blush spread over his cheeks. “We didn’t keep these kind of books at home.”

“The library then?” Akira insisted, but quickly regretted digging deeper into the matter. Goro’s expression grew bitter, with furrowed brows he tried to find the right words.

“Well... I went there quite a lot.” He let out an embarrassed laugh. “To sleep…”

 

At a certain point in time Goro’s life took turn for the worse. It’s not like his life was a bed of roses before that, but then he reached a low point. He was ridiculed by his classmates and his life at home was equally bad, if not worse.

So in search of a safe haven, he found libraries. Great hiding places, free, also quiet enough so he could catch up with the hours he’d missed from his sleeping schedule at home.

This life style turned libraries into uncomfortable bedrooms. Sadly, by the time he got there, Goro hardly had any energy for studying, let alone for reading books.

 

Knowing how nosy Akira could be, he would certainly want to know the details... But the black haired youth just said the following words after a moment of silence:

“I see.”

At this, Goro felt irrational frustration welling up in his heart. A conflict between wanting to tell everything and getting past this uncomfortable topic.

“You’re not going to ask…?” he blurted, almost disappointed.

“That would be rude. If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. But it must be a sensitive topic and this is why I won’t force you to speak.” he smiled.

At his response, Goro quickly finished his cocoa and stood up.

“I need a moment.” he had told him and escaped toward the restrooms. Pretty big mistake on his part.

The fact that someone figure him out so easily made him nervous. After all, he was the one who sacrificed precious time of his life in order to gain the skills to make perfect deductions and to analyse his surroundings while taking everything into account.

“It’s strange…” he muttered to himself as he stood in front of the small mirror. His head was a mess, his thoughts raced witch each other, completely throwing off his sense of priorities, yet at the same time, he felt some kind of inner tranquillity.  

It terrified him. Probably more than the photos of brutally murdered people he usually had to sort out.

 

By some sort of tragic turn, in Goro’s world, being understood was the scariest thing he could ever think of.

 

* * *

 

By the time he returned from the restroom Akira had closed down the café and it seemed he was about to finish cleaning.

“You should’ve told me that I overstayed my welcome.” Goro snapped at him. Not because of anger, but out of shame.

“You did?” Akira tilted his head.

“It’s past closing time.” he glanced at the clock next to the stairs. “By twenty minutes.”

“Well, Leblanc _is_ technically closed.” Akira told him like it was the most natural thing to say.

“And don’t you want to go home?” _Like any normal person_ , he wanted to add.

“I’m already home.” he said matter-of-factly.

“And I’m pretty sure this is a restaurant facility, not a home.” Goro was dumbfounded.

            His bag was already hanging on his shoulder and he was ready to leave.

“What can I say... Home is where my heart is,” Akira laughed, then added with a mischievous tone, like a magician who is about to tell the secret of his trick, “But I’m renting the upper level for real.”

Was Akira out of his mind? Goro opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but no words came out. This situation was beyond his grasp. He was also tired. And it was late.

His mind suddenly came up with excuses. Just what kind of place he ended up at?

“Then, I guess, uh, I’ll take my leave. For today at least. Good night?”

“Be safe on your way home.”

 

With that Goro made a hasty exit.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t in the mood for walking, and instead, took the train. Goro was sitting half-asleep when his phone buzzed. At first, he thought it was his boss, probably because he’d managed to forget something, like sending a report.

However after he entered his pass an unknown icon flashed on his screen.

“What the-” he tapped the screen anxiously. The name “Akira” popped up. His avatar was a black cat sitting in a silvery steel pot. The background looked like Leblanc’s kitchen.

[Sorry for invading your phone like this. Promise I didn’t read anything]

Goro was furious.

《Was this really necessary?》

[You wouldn’t give me your mail address otherwise]

《So you take my personal belonging and install an unknown app without my knowledge??》

《How the hell did you even get my lock combination?》

[All for the sake of talking to you, and considering what we are doing right now, I daresay my mission is completed,]

[So forgive me? /_\\]

[As for your lock combination, I memorized it.]

Goro found himself snickering at Akira’s message. It’s not like his phone had anything important, safe for office related numbers and some of his pictures.

《Insufferable.》

The train arrived to his station, and Goro almost threw away his phone as he tried to hop off before he got stuck until the next stop. But before he slipped his phone back into his bag he’d sent one last message: 《Also _I could_ arrest you for taking away my phone without my permission. You are not off the hook.》

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure that after this chapter we can say that Akira is playing the most dangerous version of Jenga. Also I really enjoyed making Akechi think about what happiness is. When you ask this question from someone who is already happy to begin with you gt all kind of answers, but what about those who barely have anything good in their life? What is happiness for them?


	5. Held Back Boy

Akira’s little mischief with the app deemed to be more helpful than Goro wanted to admit. Before he noticed, he’d found himself caught up in a heated debate about pancakes and if ultimately, crepe-type or American pancakes were better. The discussion ended when Akira (probably seeing, how he was losing against Goro’s reasoning) quickly switched topic and sent a photo of Morgana next to a milk box with the whole kitchen painted white. Saying how he forgot to give Mona milk in the morning.

Again, they ended in a draw, with no official winner, because after that Goro just scolded Akira for not listening to the cat.  

He got good mornings and good nights. Akira complained about his work and in turn Goro let him in and started mentioning tiny things about his own life too. He never really went into details regarding his actual feelings, but they got to the part where Goro would send nonsensical messages about missing the train or forgetting to eat because his boss dropped paperwork on him again. General annoyances, that soon started soaking up his feelings. Usually when this happened, Akira nagged him until he got something to eat. Lies wouldn’t do. He’d seen through him and asked for pictures as evidence.

《What if I don’t send you pictures of my lunch? 》

[I’ll appear next to you, staring at you and poking your side until you got something to eat.》

《I wonder if what you’ve told is at least half-true... 》

[Really. You are not only in dire need of morning coffee but a food delivery service too?!》

《I’m pretty sure, I will manage though》

[Just don’t be too surprised when i appear right next to your desk.]

《Only if you can find me. 》

[Ah, I was good at hide and seek in elementary, you know. Would spot you even if you turned invisible!! Once Futaba hid on the top of the wardrobe and I even found her! Plus, I can’t imagine you climbing out of the office window to escape me.]

《You won’t know until you see it. 》

 

He smiled at his phone more often earning a few quick jabs from his co-workers.

 

“Oh, you finally managed to get a girlfriend? Don’t get me wrong, babyface. You are handsome for a kid around your age but sometimes looking at your expression makes me think the world might end tomorrow. Not the best kind of atmosphere.” an older officer joked, when he caught Goro checking his phone.

“Really, Fujiwara-san,” he forced a smile, but couldn’t hide the redness of his cheeks. “I’m pretty sure it wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“You should’ve seen yourself in a mirror. Really depressing for someone, who just started living their life.”

“I still don’t think it was that bad…” Goro said uncertainly. He was aware that for the past few years he acted like a dead among the living but never really wanted to admit it. The sudden freedom had taken its toll on his mental health. He felt like a bird who spent his entire life in a cage, but when he escaped he realized that he never learnt how to fly.

He had no idea how to live a normal life and crashed into the ground.

“Oh, no no. It was bad, but you know, you look livelier than before and that’s good. Good, I say.” the man nodded, mostly to himself. “Been hearing that even your reports are getting better too. So you are finally living up to your detective prince role from television.”

“I don’t plan on going back to being a detective prince, but positive feedback is always welcomed.  Also, I haven’t heard any of this. Well, not yet. Are you sure?” genuine happiness glinted in his eyes.

He started working at the station last year, but nobody ever acknowledged his work. Most of his reviews were stating that his performance was okay or good. So now, his colleague saying that ‘they are getting better’ made him happy, even it was only a white lie to elevate his good mood even further Goro wouldn’t complain.

“Just wait till you see your performance report, then. You are always really wary of these kind of news anyway.” the man patted him on the back, then went back to his office.

    Goro looked after him in slight disbelief. Was he just praised? No, it was probably his imagination playing tricks again.

 

In the end he decided to calm his thoughts a little and went downstairs through the old emergency stairwell. Nobody really used it so that entrance to the building was free of cigarette smoke as well as people. Like a hideout. He sat down on the concrete stairs and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He had 8 unread messages from Akira. Few of them were only pictures of his newest ideas for questionable latte “art”. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, as he arrived to the end of messages he saw that Akira was typing something.

[Do you want to spend one of your day offs at Leblanc? Free lunch and coffee included??》

As he read it over and over again, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He wanted to accept the offer without a question, but he was not brave enough.

《For what reason? 》Thank god, he could keep his neutral tone through writing.

[Lately I keep thinking about a certain flavour and I wanted to ask you to help me with it. The boss says he can’t… okay, _won’t_ help me with it, because true coffee is black and yadda yadda. You know him.]

《Shouldn’t you ask your friends instead? Futaba, was it? 》

Even if it hurt to write it down, Goro was sure that whatever was between them had nothing to do with friendship. Though, truth to be told, he had no idea how friendships worked in the first place.

[I consider you my friend, you know.]  

Goro’s breath hitched as he read Akira’s last message. The word friend sounded alien. He probably never used it in his entire life. Acquaintances? He had those. But friends were always out of his league. By the time he wanted to get friends. Real ones. His stepfather made sure that he wouldn’t approach anyone with this goal in mind.

He was a man with power, but without a spine. Since he got into some shady businesses he started seeing Goro as a potential source of danger. The boy could be easily used to exploit him or just create some blatant lies. After all, even if someone lives a dishonest life by default he is not immune to rumors that could ruin his entire career. In order to avoid this, his stepfather did his best that Goro had as little human contacts as possible. Even severed them by force if he had to.

 Probably this is why, even years after living alone Goro still barely had any concept of human relationships. They were already way too complex for him to understand and unlike in a case or mystery novel they were always two sided. He couldn’t play the role of the observer and this irritated him a lot.

 

 

《Have to go back now》 he lied. 《Will think about it》

 

Curiosity got the best of him in the end. He spent most of his free time with Akira anyway, so doubling that time can’t be that bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming next: Goro getting caffeine posioning


	6. Unexpected Trip

In the end it took them two weeks to pick a date where both of them were available. Goro simply assumed that he will spend the day at Leblanc, drinking coffee while rating and reviewing it. But as it turned out, Akira didn’t take his job as seriously as Goro.

<=>

Having nothing better to do, Goro arrived to Leblanc right before opening hours and decided to wait for Akira. Through the windows he caught Sojiro preparing for the day, refilling the tin boxes with coffee beans, boiling water on the other side of the shop. Soft music escaped through the doorgap, inviting him inside. Goro turned away examining his wristwatch. Even though Akira told him to just “let yourself in” he didn’t want to disturb anyone with his presence. However, his wish to be unnoticed was quickly declined, 

“Do you want to spend the entire day standing there?” asked the owner of the cafe, Sakura Sojiro. Goro didn’t even notice when he opened the door in front of him. Furthermore, the man even held two chairs in his hands.

“Ah. N-no I’m just, ah, waiting for A-Kurusu” he quickly corrected himself.

“That might take some time. The kid likes to sleep in.”

“I-I see.” he couldn’t help but smile. “I always thought he was more of a morning person, considering how he works at a cafe.”

Then Goro saw something he never dared to imagine. A rare smile appeared on the owner's usually sullen face. “I wish. Only god knows how many times I had to kick his lazy ass out of bed ten minutes before opening.”

“Oh really?” he raised a brow. He always thought Akira was more of an honour student type of person. Hearing these kinds of things about him piqued Goro’s attention in a good way, mostly because there were many things he couldn’t ask directly when he was talking with Akira. These questions sounded way too awkward and out of place, even if he loved hearing about the little imperfections.

“Really” Sojiro nodded. “Hey, kid… Akechi, right? Do you want to help me with these until he wakes up?” He put down the chairs.

Goro looked up, the sky was covered with light grey clouds. Not a single blue spot could be seen.

“Sure” he flashed one of his trademark smiles. “But is it alright to put these out? It looks like it’s going to rain soon.”

“There is always a possibility for that. But a little rain never hurt anyone. Come what may, I won’t complain as long as I get a few customers.”

“Alright then.”

He nodded, but in that moment, Akechi Goro decided that the people of Leblanc lived in a completely different world, far away from ordinary human beings. That was the only logical explanation for their behaviour.

 

After he helped putting out three other chairs, while Sojiro handled the tables, to his surprise, he was invited into the café.

“We’re open, anyway.” Sojiro waved, then walked behind the counter. “So what do you want to drink? It’s on the house for helping me earlier.”

“Wa- I really can’t. At least, let me pay for it!”

“Sorry, kid. I can’t do that. I know you have the money and would gladly pay for anything, but that’s not how it works around here.”

“I… see.” he reluctantly took a seat on one of the stools at the counter. “In that case, thank you.”

He got one of his regular orders, a simple cappuccino. The sweet aroma helped him to collect his thoughts once again.

“Actually, I should be the one thanking you.” started Sojiro and Goro looked at him in confusion “Good to see the kid finally talking to someone. He’s been down in the drains ever since adult life struck him.”

“What do you mean, if I might ask?” he really didn’t want to be seen as a nosy teenager, but right now, his curiosity was way too strong to be pushed away.

“Let’s see… When you are in high school you think the whole world is yours. Well not exactly, but I guess you get the gits of it.” Sojiro scratched his neck “Akira had made some great friends throughout his student life, however, after they graduated…”

“They went on separate ways?” Goro tried to finish the sentence. The boss only nodded.

“Different universities, different countries… That’s how it works. My own daughter is currently studying in the States for a semester. They talk over phone’ chat but it’s just not the same when they used to do everything together. ”

This made him understand many things about Akira’s actions. The regulars who visited were also potential friends, but whenever he got close to someone the ties were severed by his own miracles. The pieces formed a perfectly clear picture. However, one thing nagged Goro from the back of his mind,

“Do you think… he sees me as a substitution?” he got nervous for some reason. For his old self even the role of a substitution would’ve been enough, but now….

“No. I daresay’ he is quite fond of you. Nothing says this better than that he wants to spend his day-off with you.”

“Yet even on his day off he won’t stop thinking about coffee.” Goro let out a theatrical sigh.

“Well, he wouldn’t be a barista if he did.”

 

<=>

 

In the end Akira probably woke up around nine, two hours after Goro arrived. They heard him stomping upstairs, probably falling few times as he tried to get dressed. Ten minutes later they’d heard the door smashing into the wall, and Akira managed to almost fall down the stairs in his hurry.

“I’m here.” he managed to say at last, sitting in the middle of the stairs. His hair shared an even more familiar look with a bird nest. “I hope you didn’t have to wait too much.”

Goro hesitated “Oh, I just arrived few minutes ago, you see.”

“More like, two hours ago.” the boss corrected him.

“That’s awfully early.” noted Akira as he stood up. “Sorry. We should go then. Immediately. Double Slash only has their breakfast promo until 10 am.”

It looked like Akira still needed some time to properly wake up because his sentences were rather… fragmented.

“Do-Double What?” he spluttered. It sounded like a painful place.

“Double Slash.” Akira repeated. “A diner. Restaurant. Sort of. You’ll see when we get there.”

“Wait. I thought you wanted to test a new coffee.” He got really confused.

“Well, that too. But if you got here at 7 there is no way you had breakfast and hunger can be distracting and technically you are my guest.”

“Well, I can't say this is not true.” Goro found himself nodding to Akira’s statement.

“Then it’s decided. To Double Slash!”

He was about to leave the shop when Sojiro called after him. Smile absent from his face.

“Do me a favour and don’t go outside wearing your slippers.”

 

<=>

Double Slash was indeed just few streets down from Leblanc. But to Goro’s surprise the interior had nothing to do with the extravagant choice of name. It was a smaller diner which specialised mostly in breakfast, lunch and extensive variety of lemonades. The place was bight, mostly focusing on natural colours and brown and housing around four tables.

Goro felt extremely out of place.

“What… do we-” he asked slightly flustered when he saw the menu. He didn’t want to act like a kid who just won his favourite character from a street gacha, but this whole place made him feel seriously inexperienced at life. Also, excited, for some reason.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know? It looks like a serious place. Not a fastfood restaurant or anything the like, so probably we shouldn’t be here.”

If there was a perfect time to make a complete fool of him, then it just jumped through the window and performed a somersault. For someone who barely had any chance to experience these kind of places as a teen, a simple diner caused culture shock.

  
Fortunately, Akira seemed to catch up on his train of thoughts soon enough.

“We order, sit down, they call our number, and we get the food. Or bring it to us. Really, Mr. Detective, it’s not rocket science.”

He made it sound easy.

No. Akira had the ability to make everything sound so easy.

 

<=>

 

In the end he settled with pancakes and some kind of substance he wouldn’t use the word lemonade on. It was good, just not what he would expect when asking for strawberries and basil. He studied the fruits floating in the liquid.

“So, remind me again, why did you invite me to this place?”

“Because I didn’t want to sit at the cafe all day?” Akira raised an eyebrow. “I wanted to spend the day with you, get to know you outside of the four walls and in the meantime test out that coffee I had in mind. Right now, I am spending time with you. Just as we planned.”

“We?”

“Well, you clearly agreed.”

“I think, I misunderstood then.” he said and fished a piece of pancake onto his fork.

“But… you don’t seem to regret it.” Akira pointed out.

“What? Why would I? You just surprised me, that’s all. You know, I can’t say I had any chance to eat at these kinds of places and now that I have the money and… well, the opportunity itself, I just don’t have anyone to eat with.”

Fortunately, he missed the expression flashing through Akira’s eyes.

“I see. Well they do say that everything tastes better, when you have someone to keep ou company. But does that mean that when you were a kid you were alone most of the times?” he asked, not even trying to hide his curiosity. He thought Goro will surely change the topic or try to escape from the situation with a fib, but to his surprise he only let out a shallow sigh.

Saying these kinds of things is hard. He didn’t want Akira to know more about him, mostly because he was afraid that that his past self would either scare away the barista or cause Akira to treat him differently.

“That’s one way of saying that.” he shown Akira a crooked smile. “But I don’t think we should ruin our food by talking about it. Maybe some other time…?”

When people are confronted with strange events from others’ lives, curiosity usually gets the best of them. They will start asking questions, but mostly in order to gain knowledge of situations they are not familiar with. But sometimes, although rarely, it’s about healing the one who does the talking. The shared knowledge puts their mind at ease.

To his surprise Goro actually wanted to talk. He wanted to be selfish and just drop almost twenty years of pain on Akira, but nobody deserved to know that such terrible events are actually real and exist outside Leblanc’s dimension.

“I understand. But I won’t give up just yet. Mind you, in my dictionary ‘later’ indeed means what it should mean. I won’t let you sweep it under the rug.”

“You are strange, Kurusu.” Goro shook his head. “Why are you so keen on uncovering the truth about me? ”

“Because I care about you and want to understand more.” he said bluntly “But also there is the fact, that I’ve seen your real smile and I want to see it more.”

After that, Goro said nothing. He savoured those words.

“What does my real smile look like?“ He wondered out loud, looking at the pancakes in front of him.

“Oh. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Akira chuckled.

 

<=>

 

Akira insisted on showing Yongen to Goro and on their way back they took a huge detour. In the meantime it started drizzling, just as it was foretold by Goro in the morning, so they hid under Akira’s umbrella.

“I thought, it will be more severe than this.” the inspector noted, as if he was disappointed. “But I guess we are still almost a month away from rainy season.”

            “I hope it won’t be as bad as last year’s. We barely had any customers… ”

On their way back, Goro noted that they should check out the pancake shop on the triangle corner of Yongen. Also the fact, that Akira was very much like a stray cat. Goro was actually surprised that the owner of the fish-shop didn’t throw a mackerel at them. Akira greeted everyone, nudging Goro to do the same. In the end they got a plastic bag full of mint leaves, which was from the back garden of the florist; and a small paper bag from the old lady who owned the sweets shop with 6 pieces of candies, three per person. They were truly like stray cats making their daily round around the neighbourhood.

The sudden flood of attention made Goro nervous, but he did his best to keep that million-dollar smile on his face and react with the charm of an ex-celebrity.

 

<=>

 

They arrived back to Leblanc in the afternoon.

It seemed to be a normal occurrence because when Akira dropped the plastic bag on the counter Sojiro just scoffed under his nose: “You better wash those before using them.” And he went back to work.

Goro sat down at his usual place, watching as Akira put on his apron, washed his hands and then returned to him with a strange smile on his lips. He was on home turf again and ready to use Goro as a guinea pig.

“Are you ready?” he asked as he readjusted his glasses.

“More or less, yeah.”

 

The first variation to Akira’s idea was an undrinkable mess. The measurements were off and this created a weird kind of misbalance in the coffee. He tried to find kinder words than the ones which popped into his mind.

“If I had to explain what it tastes like... “

“Honest opinion, Akechi.”

Goro tried to drink from the cup again, but he stopped after the liquid (a disgrace to coffee) touched his tongue. He wanted an honest opinion? Then he will get one.

“Definitely not a miracle. I’m sorry, Kurusu, but I can’t drink this. It’s terrible and tastes like mop water! It has too much water and too little of everything else. Like you forgot how to make coffee…”

There, he said it. To his surprise Akira only smiled and he was already getting ready for a second round. “I see.”

 

From the second they quickly went to the third, fourth and the tenth. Even if the coffee had gotten better on the way, Goro just couldn’t appreciate it anymore.

 

“Please tell me you aren’t going to remake that coffee for the eleventh time… Kurusu, I swear if I can’t sleep for days it will be your fault.”

“This will be my nothing or everything. Can Kurusu Akira, the world travelled barista turn a detective’s head and steal his heart like a true phantom thief?”

“And I-I did not approve if anything related to stealing my heart!” he said, flustered. But he quickly recovered and shot Akira a hundred million yen smile. “Also I will arrest the barista without hesitation if he dares to step on the road of crime.”

“Then I won’t steal anything, for now, jf you review this one coffee for me.”

There weren’t any other options available for him. He carefully lifted the glass but to his biggest surprise the taste that invaded his mouth was.... great. Milk and spices harmonized with the coffee and it left home with a fresh, minty aftertaste.

Suddenly he thought all that suffering worth it. Akira created something wonderful. As Goro drank more of the masterpiece he noticed that slowly it was getting sweeter.

“Is this… chestnut?” he looked at Akira in confusion.

“Yep.” He nodded. “I know you have a soft spot for sweets, so I decided to add a little chestnut puree to the mix.”

“I’m sorry to say that but this sounds unbelievably disgusting.” Goro’s words would’ve been harsh if he weren’t almost done with said disgusting latte.

“So what is Akechi Goro’s final verdict?”

“As weird as it is… you nailed it. It’s good.”

However, for some reason in that moment he was unable to look into those grey eyes. He could only hope that the thoughts that flooded him had nothing to do with Akira’s miracles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being way longer than I intended it. Oh and Double Slash is a little wink at Persona 2's restaurant system.


	7. Night Bugs on a Rainy Street

Rainy season arrived without a warning, bringing an end to the pleasant summer warmth to everyone’s dismay. Colourful umbrellas flooded the streets of Tokyo, breathing life into the grey scenery. However, the rain only meant that the customers were scarce in the café and it allowed Akira’s thoughts to wander. He hadn’t seen Goro for a week, though it was their mutual agreement to not force the other through the entire city in order to talk face to face. Thanks to the rain, they could talk on the phone for the first time. Until then, Goro tried to avoid this method of communication as much as he could only for the sole reason that he couldn’t coat his feelings with a smile anymore. He often hesitated on what to say. If Akira listened closely, he could even hear the faint sighs that left Goro’s lips as he prepared for another small lie.

“I’ll drop by tomorrow, if that’s not a problem for you” said Goro on the other side of the line. The lack of energy behind the voice worried Akira, so he couldn’t help but ask.

“Is everything alright?” He listened closely, bracing himself for the lie. But instead of lies...

“No. It’s been a long week and I just want it to end already...”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akira tried to make him speak. He was already satisfied with Goro admitting that something was wrong, but he could always try digging a little deeper.

“I’m not sure I can. Maybe I’m just not used to it, but whenever I try to grasp what my problem is, the words just slip through my fingers… And I have no idea how to talk about a problem even I can’t explain myself.”

“But you want to talk about it. That’s a step forward.”

“Careful. You start to sound like a therapist.” he chuckled.

“Well, baristas are technically therapists too. But only when it comes to regulars and we know them a bit better.”

They sat on the line in silence after that, not knowing how to continue, until Akira decided to brew himself a coffee and put Goro on speaker. “Do you want to speak about something else?” He asked while walking around the shop.

“Wait. I can hear you getting louder and quieter, considering that you’re working… Did you just put me on speaker?” Goro asked in disbelief, and even if Akira couldn’t see his face he could imagine the disbelief.

“There is nobody here. Don’t worry.”

“I’m starting to think you just pretend to work at Leblanc.”

“Indeed. Maybe it’s all just part of my masterplan and I also happen to moonlight as a phantom thief. That’s my main source of income.”

Goro started laughing at this. He probably imagined Akira in a gaudy outfit, or in a tuxedo parading through Tokyo.

“I would have to arrest you _even more_.”

“Akechi, you would arrest me simply for existing.” He laughed and sat down, his phone was right in front of him but even after finished his coffee, he didn’t want to move it. “But imagine we could be like Raphael and Charlie or Lupin and Herlock Sholmes. You could chase me around Tokyo shouting ‘Blasted, Phantom Thief.’ or “Curse you, Joker!””

“You are awfully well-read.” Goro noted. He probably followed Akira’s example, because his voice notably grew louder near the end of his sentence.

“I studied literature so it would be odd if I weren’t.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Only the part about you studying at university rings a bell.”

“It’s not a story to be proud of,” he told him before he reached for sugar. “But I will tell you more tomorrow if you’re interested.”

“I always wondered about how you became a barista, so yes. I’m interested.”

At that point Akira wanted to shut off the connection with Goro. He was about to get him talk, yet he ended up being the one promising to tell everything about himself. But truth to be told, Akira hated talking about what he did and how he ended up working at Leblanc even if he was satisfied with his current life. It was an ugly splotch on his life, making everything darker around it, slowly tainting even the most beautiful memories of his student life. He didn’t want to ruin Goro’s strangely good mood by telling about his failure. But Akira knew that eventually a time will come when university comes up along with thesis work, when he is going to shrug, force out a neutral tone and admit ‘ _Hey I’m actually a dropout so I never thought about writing a thesis. Also I’m not exactly the type of person an inspector should hang out with considering my criminal record_.’

Oh yes. He would be thrilled.

“The answer is so easy, not even you would think of it.” He answered finally, faint smile playing on his lips. Talking with Goro and technically drinking coffee with him, while the other was sitting at home had a weird kind of charm. “Was there something else you wanted to talk about? It’s not like you to call me and you usually don’t announce your arrival.”

It was always Akira who dialled first.

“Too many to list…” even if Goro said this under his breath, Akira could make out perfectly. “But to be frank, I think, my fingers moved on their own.”

 

_To be frank, I missed talking to you._ Goro wanted to say, but he swallowed that sentence. Even dialling Akira’s number made his heart beat faster and caused weird suffocating feeling in his lung.

He sat at his small table in the living room, with a mug in hand and looked out of his window, seeing people rushing to safety with their umbrellas looked strangely amusing. Probably years ago, he would’ve judged them, sneering at their pathetic forms but now this all was just… amusing. Along the way, Goro lost the thought that made him different or even better.

“I also almost finished the book you gave me” he added.

“Oh, that’s great! Have you found answers?”

_Yes._

“No. I’m afraid not yet.”

Even the part “almost” wasn’t exactly true. He finished the book yesterday, in tears. Akira’s words rang in his mind for a while, but giving him to answer was impossible. For someone who constantly wanted to get back to a certain point in his life, the cat’s bravery to make choices was astounding and shook Goro’s very core.

He was shook out of his thoughts by Akira.

“That’s all right, there is no need to rush and you definitely don’t have to pay me late fees.”

Annoyingly understanding. Was Akira playing him with fake sympathy he started to wonder. People around him always had ulterior motives so Certainly, Akira shouldn’t be an exception.

Was it really a good idea to visit Leblanc? Being extremely happy always brought the imminent and sudden downfall, so fearing the pain that would follow. If Akira was indeed faking everything… No matter how impossible it sounded, in that moment Goro’s mind was open for that option. Well, technically it was open for any options which could lead him to the lower levels of his self-loathing.

“Akechi, are you still there?” he was dragged back to reality by Akira’s worried voice.

“Ah, yes. I’m terribly sorry, but it seems like my thoughts decided to go wandering. I think it would be wise to switch back to our regular conversation format,” he laughed nervously. “I’m still glad we could talk and it would be great to continue this on some later date.”

“Right. You should get some rest, it's getting late.” Akira got quiet, as if he tried to decide how to bring the talk forward. Or so Goro thought. Though, lately many of these deductions became faulty whenever they involved a certain barista. “Then, tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He nodded with his phone in hand, ready to push the button and close the phone call.

“Uhm, Akechi? Before I go… Good night…”

Before Goro could react, the callers ID flashed with red. Akira didn’t even wait for his response. Suddenly this made Goro irritated and angry and myriad of other unexplainable feelings bubbled in his chest. He definitely noticed happiness and surprise, but the rest of them just formed a weird splotch. He quickly tapped his phone, entering their shared chat and flooded Akira’s inbox.

《Next time, you should really wait for my response! You can’t just say good night then hang up on someone without that.》

《We were in the middle of talking》

《Akira!》

He could see Akira typing, Stopping, Typing something again.

[Do you know, that this was the first time you called me by my name? :o]

Akira not only changed the topic with his usual elegance and skill, he also managed to crash his thoughts even more. At first, he constantly referred to the barista as “Kurusu” even in his head, but this was slowly pushed out of the picture when “Kurusu” gained a personality and a face in his memory.

《Ah, so you answer to this…》

[And to your first question too. It was a hit and run type of good night.]

《So… You said it, but had no courage to face the consequences? 》 Akechi couldn’t help but smirk.

[Right.]

[Because I wanted you to sleep well? Really, I have no idea. Some people suddenly say I love yous and it seems that I have a thing for saying good nights.]

《Then, it would be rude to leave you without a proper reply, so… Good night.》

After pushing the send button, he flopped down on his bed and haphazardly threw his phone next to him. Various reasons for feeling awful invaded his heart, then left him in a form of a sigh.

Keeping his mask was starting to become painful. It weighed him down and the past he so carefully hid behind it started to burn his skin.

“I wonder... “ he murmured weakly under his breath, “ Would you accept the truth no matter how ugly or disgusting it is? Would you still wear that dumb smile of yours when it turns out that the charming detective is a hideous patchwork monster?”

Deep down, he knew the answer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenshi Yonezu's music was a blessing while I wrote this chapter. Really, when you start looking up his lyrics it's just... special. Especially Wooden Doll and Neighbourhood. "If I gave you that kindness, wonder if you'd hate me too? "
> 
> Also baristas are people to be scared and I only learned this a week ago. They can indeed learn what people prefer even if you show up only once a week...


	8. I thought I knew you, yet...

            Goro usually arrived around five, but now, the hour was slowly walking toward seven and he was still nowhere to be found. Well, Akira couldn’t really blame him. After the heatwave left Tokyo, the city was hit by an intense storm in the morning and everyone in their right mind quickly rushed toward safe and most importantly, dry places. Goro probably had the brain to go home instead of risking the route to Leblanc... _Probably_. However, he seemed to underestimate the inspector’s boldness.

            Around half past seven the door was slammed out and a shadow wearing a white shirt was pushed in by the stormy winds. It took Akira few moments to realize that the pitiful drenched something is actually his inspector.

            The brunet panted, leaning to the door and slowly sliding down to the ground while he clutched his briefcase to his chest.

“I’m… here…” Before he could open his eyes Akira was already next to him, sweeping the tree leaves away from his face.

“Are you out of your mind?!” he asked, voice low as he kneeled next to the youth. He wasn’t angry or even if he was, his anger wasn’t directed to the tired man in front of him.

“...”

             Goro still averted his gaze.

            His body stiffened when a hand reached for his face and he couldn’t help but close his eyes, when Akira swept his wet hair that stuck to his forehead, then cupped his cheek. The touch almost burned him.

“You are freezing.”

“I’m fine…”

“No. You are not fine. You look like a corpse. Even your lips are blue!” said Akira, and tried to joke through the situation. Not like it was not ridiculous to begin with. Just when he thought he finally understood the inspector’s actions, he simply decides to throw his notes into the trashcan. Even right now, he expected an angry huff, or a grimace, but instead, Goro gave him a tired smirk.

“Don’t worry I feel like one too.”

            At least his sarcasm was still intact. Now Akira only needed to figure out how to properly reboot the inspector in front of him. Comforting words wouldn’t work. They never did. Neither did showing sympathy. Goro seemed to especially hate that. All that left was to bring some normality into the situation.

“I can’t believe I just got beaten by the weather.”

            Goro looked at him in irritation, stood up and was about to make a motion and dust off his pants before realizing the futility of it. He looked like someone who just crawled out of a river with leaves, unknown green muck and mud stuck to his body. “I hate to ask for such trivial thing, but could you perhaps lend me a towel?”

“I think a shower and dry towel combo would be much better and benefit you more on the long run.”

“Indeed. But I don’t intend to intrude for more than an hour.” he said.

“That’s some awfully Akechi-ish way of thinking.” Akira smiled then flipped the sign on the door window from open to closed. Nobody visited the café today and with the typhoon outside, probably nobody will drop in for Leblanc’s coffee. “I thought you knew me better than that, because there is no way you will leave through that door in this weather.”

             Goro would probably have a comeback or an excuse for that too, but right now his foul mood affected his replies. He reassuringly patted his back. “Akechi, I can’t let my favourite regular get pneumonia.”

“That actually wouldn’t be a bad idea…”

            Akira only sighed.

            Someone who had fallen into the pit of moodiness was hard to talk to and even harder to reason with. Instead, he reached for that wet, gloved hand and confidently pulled him toward the stairs. Hopefully a hot shower and fresh change of clothes would make him feel better, because right now, he acted like a sick cat. He didn’t whimper and beg for attention, instead lessened his pretence, making himself as small as he could and when someone came to his aid, he would bear his fangs and wouldn’t hesitate to turn his frustration against himself. Akira couldn’t figure out the reason behind his immense fear of being loved, so he wanted to find answers by going rounds around Goro, trying to find the right keywords.

            He unintentionally squeezed the inspector’s hand earning a confused stare. Though, he only let go of him after he led Goro to his apartment and the door opened with a faint click.

 

 

            Akira’s place was almost like a textbook example of a bachelor’s burrow. It was simple, coffee-brown and dark brown walls next to each other and a separated part which was taken up by picture frames. Even if it was only a rather small, two room apartment the colours and furniture made it look both modern and comfortable. Goro couldn’t help but smile at how Akira’s clothes were scattered literally everywhere, though.

However, before Goro could say anything about the interior he was ushered towards the bathroom.

“Just drop your clothes into the sink; I’ll lend you some of mine.”

“You certainly can’t be serious--”

            But as Goro said that, the door just closed shut behind him and he found himself standing alone in a tiny bathroom.

“I’ll leave clothes on the sofa. The hairdryer is in the cabinet next to the mirror just don’t use it on max heat because it tends to overheat...” he heard shuffling coming from the other side, drawers being pulled out and pushed back. “I’ll wait downstairs!”

“Wait…!” Goro opened the door again, just in time because Akira was about to head back to the café part of the house. “You really don’t have to do this.”

            Akira only turned back to him with a knowing smile and quoted another book which Goro had no way of knowing. “I’m doing this because I want to, besides they say _you’ve become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed._ ”

            Without caring to explain what that meant, he just left leaving a bamboozled Goro in his wake.

Just what did that mean? Tamed?

_Since when have I been tamed?_

 

<=>

 

            It took Goro almost an hour to join Akira in Leblanc. Considering how he mostly wore formal attires, even on his day off seeing him in regular street clothes felt unnatural. Akira’s pants were loose around his legs, but everything else from the green socks to the deep blue shirt fit him nicely. The only things that didn’t fit the full picture were those gloves.

            Akira had noticed month ago that no matter how scorching was the heat, the inspector just wouldn’t remove them. Obviously there had to be a reason behind his behaviour, but as many times Akira just only found himself a new blank spot in his puzzle and Goro just pushed his mask of fakery back to his face. It was another piece he couldn’t understand without Goro explaining and he was sure as hell that he wouldn’t get any answers from him.

 

            There was some hesitation in Goro’s steps as he reached Akira and he gave an unsure, tiny smile as he sat down at his usual seat. He was embarrassed.

“It almost hurts to admit,” the brunet began. “But it is better in dry clothes even if they have fur from an invisible black cat on them.”

“Sorry. Morgana tends to do that, he thinks of my wardrobe as Hotel _Wardrobe_ Wellness _Superior_ so I don’t even notice the cat fur on my clothes anymore.”

Goro let out a small laugh. “That’s the first time I heard that.”

 “Then I’m glad I was able to add something new to our conversations. But speaking of cat fur… You should really get off those gloves. Your fingers will freeze off and we should wash them. They have half of Tokyo and my cat on them…”

“T-There is no need for that!” Goro’s answer was clear, his voice filled Leblanc, Akira couldn’t help but flinch at the sudden outburst. “I am fine and it… look… it would just ruin the mood.”

“What do you mean?” Akira asked and began to work on one of Goro’s usual orders. He needed something sweet.

            The inspector was at loss. For minutes he just sat there, staring at the table, before he heaved a long-suffering sigh.

“I’m not… what you think of me,” he paused. “Half of what I told you about myself until now were lies. White lies, fibs, distorted truths.”

            Goro expected disappointment. Or at least a hint of sadness in Akira’s eyes, but the barista gave him nothing the sort, he just nodded eyes filled with curiosity.

“I know.” Akira told him and put down a cup filled with low caffeine cappuccino in front of Goro. “I’ve known about it every since you stepped through that door to the first time.”

            Goro stared at him in disbelief. “How?”

“You have the perfect smile, yet something is always off. You furrow your brows, there is a sad glint in your eyes, there are those tired sighs and I think most importantly, you look me in the eyes when you are about to lie.”

“How is that a sign?” asked Goro, he wasn’t as shaken as Akira thought he would be.

“When people talk about something in the past, even if it was hurtful, they rarely look into your eyes. They gaze out of the window, have their eyes fixated on something next to you but not on you. This is mostly because at that moment they are searching within the past events, thinking about it and they try not to be distracted by someone else. But you look into my eyes.”

            Goro stayed silent and put his hands around the cup.

“First, I thought that you were straightforward and this was your own unique habit, but then I started to gather together the clues you’ve left me. That’s when I noticed… When your stories were genuine you acted just like everyone else. Then there were the tiny slip-ups...”

“It's surprising that you never mentioned it.” But I guess I was so focuses on coating the small details that I haven’t noticed the spots where the paint fell off…”

“Also I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“That’s very considerate of you. But in a way you lied too.” He said with a serious face.

“Yes.” Akira admitted. “However, it was only a white lie, unlike yours.”

            Goro sat still as the difference became clear in his mind. Akira lied in order to make him reveal his true self without forcing him to face the actual price of his lies. However, Goro lied because he thought that a person like him could never be accepted because of his past. By the time, Goro realized this, his cards were laid bare in front of Akira and he closed off every escape route around them.

            He sighed in defeat, reluctantly pulling off the black gloves. He put them on the counter and lifted his right hand so Akira could see it perfectly.

            The barista’s eyes widened. He expected some minor scars, or some kind of skin miscolouring, but the sight just left him shocked. Starting from his fingers a white scar ran until the middle of his left hand. At first, he thought it was just a regular cut, until Goro lightly turned his hand to reveal a similar scar on his palm.

“It’s from my stepfather.” He told Akira without any emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think no chapter in my life made me as frustrated and excited at the same time as this one. This typhoon brought some really heavy topics too, but also tons of emotions and putting everything into two chapters is hard while keeping their dynamic in mind.
> 
> Also the quote Akira just threw at poor Goro is from the Little Prince!


	9. Frog in the Well

The rain mercilessly poured down on the roof of Leblanc as if hundreds of crows were pecking the tiles. The silence slowly grew suffocating with Akira sitting there, loss for words. Goro’s eyes on the other hand held almost no emotion; he spoke casually, as if the scar on his hand was nothing more than a mark left by a cat.

“It happened back when I was six. My mother and my stepfather had an argument and he wanted to solve it with a knife. Being a foolish child, I tried to catch the knife. My mother took me to the local clinic and lied about it, of course. Told them that I was playing with the knife while they were out, shopping.” He took a sip of his coffee, like he was just talking about the evening news. “They stitched it together, but it took me a long time before I could use it properly, but it still gets sore when I overexert it.”

    Truth to be told, it wasn’t the first time they jumped at each other’s throat. A year after their marriage, the new stepfather seemed to get the hang of being in charge. Before that, he only made sure that whenever Goro appeared in front of him he would make a remark to remind him of his place in the family. After that he either hit him physically or verbally. Fortunately, his mother was never harmed. But then, as if Shido tried to take full control over her life, he started to monitor her daily activities, trying to find the smallest of errors to call her out on them while keeping her as close as it was possible. Her mother denied the abuse or just didn’t want to believe that all of that was real, because whenever Goro mentioned it to her she just hushed him and tried to find an excuse for his stepfather’s actions.

“What happened to your real father?” Akira asked, carefully choosing his words.

“He died in cancer when I was little. Around four years old. So I barely even remember his face.”

“Oh, I’m…”

“Don’t be.” he slightly raised his hand. “It changes nothing. Besides, my mother followed him not long after. But before that happened, she made sure I knew that I was the reason why she couldn’t finish college and her life went off-rails...“

    Apparently, his parents met back at college, they had some classes together until Goro’s mother decided to talk with her groupmate. After that they had the typical school romance formula, they got together, planning on graduating together, but Goro came into their life and they suddenly had to grow up and turn into responsible parents.    Hearing this, his grandparents decided to cut all connections with them. He never heard anything about the ones from his father’s side.

“They never really cared about seeking me out.” he explained. “So at a young age, I decided that I had no grandparents and they died. But that was fine until things got really bad and my mother decided that she absolutely needs a source of income in the form of a man. That’s when Shido appeared and I wished I was living with them instead.”

    Masayoshi Shido was bad news. Even his five years old self knew that, yet his mother was head over heels with the man. Things went downhill when he moved in with them and decided to take over the household.

     His relationship with Goro had always been stormy, mostly because the boy had no intention of accepting him as a parent. For Goro, Shido was an invader, and likewise for the man, Goro was a useless lump of flesh, not even human. However, his mother protected Shido, never believing a single complain he had so he was fighting against an undefeatable enemy.

     The purple bruise he had on his leg? He must’ve fallen. The yellowish one from way back then? The train’s door caught it. She had a perfect explanation and she firmly believed them.

“I think she knew about it all along, but pretended not to notice. It was easier than to face her terrible decision. But when my hand got cut, the realization broke her.” He took another sip from his cup and looked at Akira. Even in the dim light of the cafe he clearly saw as his face grew paler. While Goro wouldn’t (or rather couldn’t) bat an eye when he talked about his past Akira was clearly shaken.

“Did he stop after that?” his voice got weaker.

“I wish. But it actually got worse. With my mother out of the picture, I was just a waste of air. He put up with me, but that was it. Sometimes torturing me was considered as a fine form of entertainment because I worth that much to him. I’m... not sure I should tell you more, though.”

“We’re stuck here for god knows how long, so I say we should get to the end of your story. And despite how it looks like, I’m willing to listen...”

“Thanks…” he took a deep breath. ”Fortunately, there is not much to say. Life was just generally terrible after that and he always found a reason to hurt me. Sometimes I got woken up in the middle of the night, locked out of the house, when he called over his friends they had fun by forcing me to drink… It’s quite rare for an eight year old kid to get alcohol poisoning, so it must’ve been fun to see me struggle and beg, I guess. I wanted to live, so I tried not to drown in my own vomit, but I knew he would’ve been fine if I died there. I wasn’t his son. I was a nobody. Shido would make up a story and the adults would all agree, saying it was my fault that I died. Probably about how my mother’s death shook me and I drank myself to death or wanted to follow her with different means. But here I am, I guess, I survived.”

Akira had no idea what to say, so he only added “And I’m awfully glad for that.”

“For what?”

“For you. For surviving.”

            Once again, silence joined them for long minutes after Akira’s voice. Goro was seemingly speechless, before he averted his gaze with a sigh. “You always know, what to say, don’t you? I thought you’d be shocked, speechless… pity me, even...”

“For a while, all of these crossed my mind, but in the end, I came to understand you more and in some way you ended up taking part in your own miracle.”

“Again with this word...” Akira only smiled at this. He slowly started packing away as the shop neared its closing time. Despite the typhoon and the closed sign, he still kept himself to their regular routine.

“Can’t help it. When I see them, I see the real side of people. The side they always hide beneath a mask. In that moment, their true self comes to the surface and you see genuine feelings. Yours was a bit different case, though. It was a miracle _you_ gave me so I daresay, you were my miracle maker and not vice versa.”

At this, Goro’s face turned one shade redder. Him being anything special was nonsense. He was one grey mouse out thousands. Yet there he was, someone tried to get him know so stubbornly that he ended up letting them in.

His eyes stung and he had no idea why. He was certain that it wasn’t because of his old scars. Those had no effect on him anymore.

A weird, new feeling took hold of his heart and the overflowing emotions crushed him.

“I hate you.” he told Akira between tears. “Or at least, I should hate you for being so disgustingly nosy. Do you know how much this hurts? Do you have any idea that… I don’t even know what makes me feel this way in the first place.”

He took a deep breath, but his vision was still blurry. He tried to sweep away the annoying teardrops from his face, but only more appeared in their place. In that moment, the person who was held together by his secrets and pain completely fallen apart.

            He never cried. Crying meant that he left himself vulnerable. Open for new attacks. So for years, he carefully bottled everything up. The words from his mother, the hits from his stepfather, everything about his classmates, the days when his bag was thrown into the compost at school, when he got locked into the classroom for the night… Suddenly, everything resurfaced.

 

By the time he realized that Akira has moved away from behind the counter the barista had his arms around his body. Pulling him close, despite the fact that Goro was still sitting at his usual place with silent tears falling to his clothes. However, Goro didn’t push Akira away, instead just leant against his chest, never speaking a word when Akira caressed his back.

 

There were so many things Akira wanted to say actually, but one of them felt right. He had no idea about the pain. He had no idea about how it felt to be overwhelmed by emotions. Reassuring words would find deaf ears. Saying that it’s okay would be even worse. All he knew that Goro needed to be alone with his thoughts, but still required some physical company. But deep down guilt bit into him hard. He wanted to do a miracle, by slowly clipping away pieces of mask, but he ended up tearing it off from Goro’s face. The inspector weakly trembled against his hold, and only pulled away when Akira gave him a paper tissue.

“I ruined it.” Goro muttered, mostly to himself.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

“Really? The look in your eyes says everything.”

“The look in my eyes says that I’m shocked, I want to punch your stepfather. I’m glad that you were honest with me and…” he looked into Goro’s eyes. “Despite everything, I still want to see you being happy.”

Goro opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it. “It’s not like I deserve that.”

“And why do you say this?” Akira’s voice was soft, almost calming.

“Because I…” Goro started thinking but no logical reason came to him. “I…”

“See? You have spent so much time being unhappy, that you started telling yourself that you don’t deserve to feel happiness, that you can’t be happy. But the reality is, this thought is only a really strong conviction. Not the actual reality.”

“So… basically, you say that I didn’t only lie to everyone around me but I included myself.” he seemed to calm down when his brain was given some theories and ideas to chew on, but even now his voice was still heavy with tears.

“Yes.”

“I… see. That’s an interesting way to put it. However I can’t help but to agree with you. I thought that my past was a stigma so I---” Then Goro’s words suddenly stopped. Dread. Pure fear reflected in his eyes as he looked at Akira and told him in an almost inaudible voice “Don’t tell me… You didn’t make me have a change of heart, do you? Please...”

His hands trembled as he gasped Akira’s shirt. The realization made him feel nauseous.

Goro continued to cry.

“It isn’t.” Akira told him while stroking his back. “A change of heart is much more different. Less… painful. What you did Goro, was facing yourself and the past you tried to hide away. It’s anything but a change of heart.”

“Then I won’t forget Leblanc.” He stated.

At this Akira let out a chuckle.

“If you dare to do that I will stand in front of the police station and play cheesy songs right under your window until I get arrested.”

He wouldn’t miss that tiny smile that crept onto Goro’s face.

“Would you make me coffee even from behind the bars?”

“As long as you provide the right materials, yes. But people would get jealous of you, because I don’t make coffee for anybody.”

“At least I would be special in some way.”

“Barista hoarder.” he said playfully.

To his surprise Goro returned that smile. The inspector sighed before hopping off from the stool.

“Shall we…?”

“Yep. We both deserve to get some sleep.”

            Akira felt a strange kind of warmth invading his heart as he once again led Goro upstairs. He tried to put the emotion which swirled in his mind in order, but could only furrow his brows in disbelief. The answer seemed logical, yet strange.

            The wind raged outside and the sound of rain forcefully hitting the roof and the walls echoed in the empty house as he opened the door. Goro seemed to be similarly deep in his thoughts.

“You should sleep on my bed.”

“Pardon?”

“Ah, I won’t be sleeping in it, if that’s bothering you.”

A slight blush spread over Goro’s face.

“The couch is fine.” he mumbled.

“It’s anything but fine. Trust me, I live here.” Akira joked. “Furthermore, you need to rest and you can’t do that on this sad excuse if a furniture. The sponge keeps shifting in it.”

He was somewhat glad that he never listened to Sojiro about buying a new one. He desperately needed it, but he rarely got any visitors in the past year. Who would’ve thought that the sad state of the couch would make a perfect excuse someday.

Goro still looked at him suspiciously but he was seemingly too tired to get into a debate.

“O… kay?” he tried to hide a yawn. “But first, tell me where did that thing with taming me came from.”

Akira chuckled as he led Goro to the door of his bedroom.

“It’s from a book called The Little Prince.”

“Hmmhmm.” Goro hummed. “I will remember that.”

“I can lend my copy to you. But only tomorrow, when you are not dead tired. Now, good night.”

Goro only blinked at him, clearly losing focus for a moment before he mumbled a soft _good night_ and pulled his weight toward the silhouette of a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag! Writing this chapter was harder than I originally thought despite the fact that I had this scene sooner than the entire story. Or maybe it was hard, because that abusive household became the "norm" fo Goro and he was so casual about it...? Next chapter will be much more lighthearted as Goro is forced to take a day off! 
> 
> Truth is I can't wait to finish this story, because I have vague outlines for two smaller oneshots I really want to write...! A summer take on the sickfic trope and one following the traditional phantom thief formula! (Curse me, for reading Kaitou St. Tail) On the other hand... I love writing this story so much so it will be weird once it gets the "Completed" status...


	10. Unspoken

The bed smelled like Akira. That was the very first thing he noticed once he slipped under the blanket. Which in itself wasn’t a surprising fact, but for Goro this gave unexplainable thoughts which he couldn’t bury away that easily. Something in this whole situation made his heart race and drove away his initial drowsiness. He knew the basic concept of sleepovers but this was something different or probably had more meanings than spending the night at someone’s home.

Because Akira wasn’t just _someone_.

Over the course of a few months, from the faceless barista, he slowly gained personality and Goro just couldn’t get enough of him.

 Probably this is why, despite the obvious warnings he decided to rush to Leblanc in the middle of a storm, and told pieces of his past that were never to be shared with anyone. He wanted to think that Akira only pitied him, but despite everything his brain refused to listen to him. Events, words, expressions, feelings kept were coming back to haunt him.

No matter what he did, dreams just wouldn’t arrive. In the silence of the rain he could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. No. There was certainly no way he could sleep like this.

After an hour of tossing and turning, he tiredly pulled out his phone from his pocket, but instead putting it down next to him, Goro opened a web browser.

If he is going to have a sleepless night he might as well spend it in a productive way.

 

<=>

 

The weather on the following day was no different. Though the strength of the wind lessened somewhat and he could open the window, the wall of rain prevented Akira from seeing the house on other side of the street. Below him, the pavement was flooded, and tiny rivers were formed at the sides of the road. They desperately needed rain after the seasonal drought, so Akira had no complaints about the refreshing morning petrichor scented air.

As he watched the falling raindrops, his mind wandered back to last night and Goro. Although, he didn’t show it on the outside, he was shaken by the sudden outburst. Not only that. It scared him. Even if Akira did his best to believe in Goro, worry kept mercilessly chewing on his mind. His thought were accompanied thousands of unfortunate scenarios and what ifs.  

So, just to be sure that everything was okay, with the silence of a cat he stepped into the dim bedroom. Goro slept soundly, lips slightly parted, his phone right next to his side. It seemed to have ran out of battery overnight, so Akira silently took it, connected it to his custom charger.

To the movements around him Goro just grimaced in his sleep and pulled the blanket up to his nose along with Morgana, who happened to sleep at the crook of his legs. Akira thought about waking Goro up in case someone tried to question his absence from work, but Goro seemed to be exhausted both physically and mentally. He clearly deserved sleeping in at least once. Hopefully, his superiors will look out the window and make a connection between the typhoon and a day off.

 _Probably he will be hungry when he wakes up._ Akira thought as he softly closed the door behind him.

 

The true challenge came after that. Finding out what kind of food Goro would like for breakfast. Akira wasn’t that familiar with his likes and dislikes and it hardly ever came up in their regular conversations. Based on yesterday’s events probably anything would earn a compliment, because he really did live on _konbini_ food and premade sandwiches. Or at least it seemed to be a realistic idea.

Akira thought about making omelette at first but the three eggs looking back from his fridge made him rethink his plans. French toast was out of question. Again, not enough eggs. The only common breakfast where he could use this was probably the easiest to make…

 

<=>

 

Around ten, Akira heard a casual ringtone echoing in the bedroom. It had no personal touches or a custom song and knowing Goro, he probably never thought about changing it from its default settings.

The noise echoed in the apartment for a while, before seven minutes later Goro’s sleep-tortured head appeared in the door. Without looking around, he made an uncertain beeline toward the bathroom. He only looked slightly better when he returned after he combed his hair. Seemingly he still needed some time to put himself together.

“Good morning!” Akira greeted him, but it took Goro some time to register just what was happening around him. Akira stood in front of the stove holding a ladle. Next to him there was a smaller tower made of limited pancake variations.

“Good morning...?” Goro blinked. “What on earth are you doing?”

“Breakfast.”

“I can see that, but why?”

“So we can eat because it’s morning. You seemed to like pancakes back when we went to Double Slash, so I decided to make them today. Probably they won’t taste as good, but to my defence this is the first time I ever had to deal with pancake batter--” A smile forced his way to Akira’s face as he looked up from the stove. He hesitated at first, but decided to finish what he started after he took a closer look at Goro’s face. “Oh. You have black cat hair on your face.”

He couldn’t see it in the dim light of his bedroom, but now that there was more brightness around them, the thin black fur almost glowed on Goro’s face.

“What? No way…” he said in disbelief.

Goro quickly rushed to the bathroom and probably for the first time Akira heard him cursing under his breath as he washed his face. Morgana wasn’t hostile, neither did he sleep on other people’s faces, but there was one certain thing that ticked him off…

“You stayed up too late.” he stated, when Goro returned.

“You knew it from having cat fur on my face? What kind of seer are you?”

“I live with this monster and he keeps my sleeping schedule normal since high school.” Akira chuckled. “When you stay up too late he jumps on you and bumps his face to yours, giving headbutts until you go to sleep. Now, sit down.”

Akira instructed him putting the plates on the table. “What do you prefer today? Tea or coffee?”

Goro thought about it for a moment before going with a surprising answer. “Well, I can drink coffee everyday… I guess, tea would be better.”

“Black? Green? White? Fruit?”

“Black.” He felt like answering a test, but did his best anyway.

“What kind of-”

“Just make me something, Akira!” he frowned but quickly corrected himself. “Kurusu.”

“Akira is fine, you know. It’s not like you haven’t called me that few times already.“

“I did?”

Akira nodded. “Yep. Whenever you got embarrassed or irritated. You can read it back in our chatlogs, if you don’t believe me.”

“Oh… Oh! Sorry.”

“I told you, it’s fine. I think we should really switch to first name basis.”

“Calling you Akira will be weird…” Goro trailed off.

Akira just hummed as he rummaged in the cupboard. Pulling out a small tin box.

It had a Russian townscape printed on the sides. He had no clue about Goro’s tea preferences, but he had some vague ideas to work with based on his likes and dislikes. Earl grey seemed to fit his mood right now especially with its soothing effects.

“I don’t know why I thought that you’d use tea bags.” Goro noted as Akira took out a small metal tea infuser. He poured water into a mug and let it sit, then turned his attention to Goro again.

“So… why did Morgana hurt you?” he asked with a smirk.

“I dared to read a book, I guess…?” Goro shrugged.

“For some reason, I can only hope it wasn’t work-related.” Akira put the tea infuser on a plate then put the mug in front of Goro.

“Thank you.” Goro only smiled meekly. “But this time, it was prose. Though, if I had known that I have to take a day off because of this weather, I would have waited until today…”

The barista just sat down at the table, nodding as the pieces finally came together. Goro’s curiosity was strong and it seemed that once something caught his attention he wouldn’t let it slip out of his sight. He didn’t try to pry instead just asked.

“Well, I have tons of books you can read, so feel free to browse.” he sat down. ” By the way, have you found what you’ve been looking for?”

“It was a charming read. And I think, yes, but rather, I managed to understand a little bit more about the author’s mind. I believe, the correct answer still needs some time.”

“Sometimes it’s right in front of your nose.” Akira told him, reaching for a pancake. He chose one of the thinner ones.

“What kind of pancake is that?” Goro asked curiously.

“To be frank, I have no idea.” Akira admitted. “They’re the result of intense internet search because I had no idea what kind of pancakes I should make.”

“I see.” Goro nodded seemingly impressed. “Then it would be a waste to let your search go uneaten.”

 

<=>

 

The rest of their day went rather uneventfuly and Goro couldn’t thank the heavens for that. Existing next to Akira was surprisingly easy on his nerves too. At first, he kept following him around like a curious cat, down to Leblanc, checking the stock under the counter (that was Goro’s first time seeing what’s there.) Akira told him about the old Bezerra espresso machine that stood at the end of the counter also shared little bit of coffee history here and there, not like he needed to, but speaking about them made him proud as a barista.

On the other hand, Goro was completely dazzled by the unknown world so most of the barista’s words didn’t even reach him. In the meantime, he completely missed the fond glances Akira threw his way. Goro was way too lost in the midst of new information.

In his mind he mostly tried to categorize Kurusu Akira. He didn’t fit as his colleague. But neither the friend category seemed right. Goro felt stability and a rush of honesty around him, so it had to be something special. It was hard to keep his facade but truth to be told he didn’t even want to. Because most importantly, he felt comfortable and safe. It was an unknown combination of emotions and for once he was thankful for the terrible weather that raged outside.

Sitting next to Akira. Laughing together at the ridiculous comedy Akira’s friend recommended them quickly over a shared chatroom after they finished a deep and confusing movie Goro chose from Akira’s second-hand rental DVD collection. Both movies were embarrassingly bad in their own genres, yet he still found something enjoyable in them.  

“I wonder... Do bad movies automatically become good, because when you are in a company that makes you appreciate them more?” he threw in the question. Akira sat up on the sofa and thought for a while.

“I think so.” his gaze shifted to Goro. “Good company is needed to enjoy some things in life. They say, food tastes better when you have someone to share with. So maybe this can be applied to bad movies…. Wait. Does that mean that I’m a perfect company if we enjoyed the hell out of the last movie?”

“Perfect is not the word I would use here, more like--” He chuckled but he soon stopped when Akira leant into him, playfully pushing Goro with his shoulders. “Hey what are you--”

“Punishment for the liar. I saw you burst out laughing when they all tried to cover up the murder what they never committed.”

“What?!” Goro’s face turned redder as Akira shown him a knowing smirk. “Did you watch me or the movie?”

“Why not both?” Akira teased him, and his words seemed to hit the jackpot because the calm and collected Goro was nowhere to be found.

“You are embarrassing me in front of your cat! I can’t believe I let you use my first name.”

“Don’t worry, _Goro_. He lives with me so he is used to these kind of things.” Akira reassured him. Goro fought a losing battle as his upper body slowly fell sideways, Akira victoriously letting him go.

“So you do this to everyone?” Even after the weight disappeared, he refused to sit back up and instead let a wave of tiredness hit him.

“No. This is _your_ special privilege.”

Goro snickered. “I have way too many special privileges when I’m with you. You’re a mystery to me.” he rambled. “You treat me like I were someone special, like I have some worth despite being a grey mouse, a nobody. I wonder why.” grumbled Goro, half asleep.

Akira was seemingly taken aback by the bold statements and started playing with the longest strand of hair in his bangs. “For reasons I can’t tell you. At least, not yet.”

Goro’s shoulders shook with his voiceless laugh.

“Maybe tomorrow?”   

“Tomorrow might be too soon.”

“Should’ve known. You know everything about me but I barely know the real you. That’s… just not fair.”

“Patience, Goro.”

“I might try to find out through deduction. I’m a detective, you know.”

Their conversation halted at that. Goro closed his eyes for a minute before collecting enough strength to spoke up one last time.

    “Akira… …”

“Hm?”

“...No, nothing. I think... I forgot… I’ll probably remember it if it was important…”

Goro never spoke a word on that night as sleep pulled its heavy blanket over him.

Akira swept the born locks away from the man’s face as he scooped Goro up and took him to bed.

“My reasons…” His reasons were in no way complicated. What started out as an interesting experiment made him realize a myriad of other things about Goro and himself.

He fell in love with that grey mouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took my way longer to edit than to write actually. No matter how many times I reread it, I could still find something I wanted to change, while my mind kept thinking about the next chapter... But here it is, at last!
> 
> As a little side note, grey mouse is botha reference to the mouse transformation from the game, and it is a common Easter European term. It is usually used when someone has really low prescence, don't stand out and has nothing extraordinary about them.
> 
> Also serious research went into various egg-less pancake recipes.
> 
> I can't wait to post the next chapter, not only because it will have Sae, but also because one of my favourite confidant will appear and cause some havoc in their life.


	11. Worst of Luck

As Goro was making his way downstairs he had his phone in his left hand, typing one of his usual, novel-length messages for Akira.

《I washed the clothes you’ve lent me the other day! Once again, I can’t thank you enough for them. However, I think people already got the wrong idea about my private life… Now my boss won’t let me be. I know I hardly ever wear jeans but was it that obvious that those weren’t my own clothes?》

[They just put 2 and 2 together and got 10. Don’t let it bother you. You looked nice, but if you want I’ll just lend you some clothes the next time you visit Leblanc. You can pretend to have suddenly found new clothes in the depth of your detective wardrobe.]

《I wish that was the case. They would overcomplicate everything. 2 and 2 would be 20.》

[I can only say, if you need a fake boyfriend I’m the best you can find. It’s even in my resume. I think I would make a cool real boyfriend too, although I know no one who could testify that.]

Goro could feel heat rising in his cheeks as he blindly took the steps leading downstairs.

《Really now. Do you ever think before you send these messages?》

[Based on how this is the same thing Makoto used to tell me when I proposed the idea of fake-dating, probably not.]

He couldn’t help but raise his brows. Just who was Makoto? Her or his name never came up until now.

《You should rethink your words then.》

[If I did that I probably never had the guts to ask you about coming to the beach with me this weekend.]

《???》

[Now this was an impulse message!]

《That is… not really possible.》

[And why not? You personally told me that you are free this weekend. You sat there on that very chair you usually sit on and complained about not having anything to do on the weekend. Which is absurd.]

《It’s not…I’d gladly visit the beach with you. But I’m afraid, I have nothing to wear. As you might’ve noticed, I’m not exactly the type who goes to places like that in his free-time.》

            Wow, it hurt to admit.

[Oh! We can always buy you something. Don’t let that stop you, Goro.]

As Akira had sent the message, Goro felt the ground slipping away from under his foot, his breath got caught in his lungs and he made an ungraceful fall from the lowest step of the stairs. He had no idea what just happened thanks to his initial shock, but the mind-numbing pain that ran through his body quickly reminded him of the past ten seconds.

His side hurt, he hit his elbows as he tried to save himself. Yet the worst injury had made itself known when he tried to stand up. He winced as he put some weight on his right leg, mostly because he felt like he would collapse on spot. With tears in the corner of his eyes and holding back his breath with each step to stop himself from voicing his pain, he managed to limp his way toward Nijima’s office.

 Probably she won’t be happy about it.

No, she definitely won’t be happy about it.

 

***

 

At first he did his best to swallow back his pain when he faced his boss, but Nijima Sae noticed it regardless, along with his swollen, bluish ankle. The next moment Goro came to his senses, he was already sitting in the waiting room with an envelope containing his x-rays on his lap.

Next to him, Sae sat with an unreadable expression, the same she kept for the past few hours, while she escorted Goro from door to door. Right now, she kept scrolling on her phone, reading news and frequently opening the chat application. She seemingly found whoever messaged her more interesting than his co-worker as they haven’t spoken a word since leaving the station. Goro honestly felt like a little kid next to his mother, who got silent treatment after getting in a fight.

“Mrs. Nijima, it’s completely alright to go back to work. I can manage by myself.”

Sae just looked at him with disbelief. “Should I remind you how you got here in the first place, Akechi?”

“No.”

“If you broke your ankle, it’s better if I take you home to prevent further injuries.” She added.

“If I indeed broke it... Maybe my ankle is just sprained…” he tried to show a smile however his swollen blue ankle told him otherwise.

           

 

***

 

The final verdict was 3 weeks in cast, plenty of rest, no moving around or putting weight on his foot. To Goro, who was so used to being active, this was like a death sentence filled with boredom. Three weeks of nothing. In reality everything was allowed, yet when he started treading his possible options with the white cast around his ankle, Goro quickly ran out of activities. He couldn’t just read and watch TV for three weeks, while his work kept piling on his desk!

His previously great mood was ruined.

 

 Sae was kind enough to take him back to his apartment but as any boss, she was already measuring the possibilities. She led Goro to a couch in the corner of the tiny living room and let him sit down.

“You will need help.” she stated.

“Mrs. Nijima, I’m not bedridden…”

“This still doesn’t mean that you don’t need help. Resting, in medical term means, not leaving the apartment. Should I ask someone from the division to keep an eye on your or do your grocery shopping?”

“Please Mrs. Nijima, there is no need for that.” he tried to give Sae a reassuring smile. Goro didn’t want to be indebted to anybody, especially not from work. Alas, he was fighting a futile war.

“In that case, I’m eager to listen to your idea.” Sae pulled the chair away from Goro’s workdesk and sat down in front of him with her legs crossed. This started to look like an interrogation. “If you propose a better idea then I’ll just drop the case and let you handle it.”

Sae won’t leave him alone. Or even if she does, she will send someone to his house to cause further inconveniences for Goro. However, there was one surefire option to prevent coworkers from invading his home… someone Goro trusted enough.

“I think I have someone in mind. Please, give me a moment.”

Sae nodded and Akechi unlocked his phone. He didn’t want to tell Akira, at least not like this. He intended to postpone their regular coffee-talks then drop the actual reason when his feet healed up enough. He didn’t want to lie, well, not anymore, but also Akira would surely kill him especially after the night he’d spent at Leblanc.

So now Goro happened to stumble upon a weird case when his mind contradicted his usual actions.

 

He took a deep breath then tapped on Akira’s profile picture.

《Okay… this is embarrassing, but there was an accident today… and I might... or might not have broken my ankle. My boss keeps nagging me about getting help. I think from this point it’s obvious why I am writing”》

Fifteen awkward minutes passed until his phone buzzed several times.

[YOU DID WHAT????]

[Great. Now Shinya is taking my head off for breaking our combo, but seriously Goro, how?]

[Where do you live? I’m coming over. I would ask if you want something from Akihabara but no.]

[I’ll spin you an embarrassing keychain. But that’s it.]

[Embarrassingly cute. Absolutely not manly. You’ll get a mothman for this stunt.]

[But only if Shinya doesn’t kill me on the spot.]

Goro almost let out a chuckle as he read Akira’s rapid messages but quickly stopped himself when he felt Sae’s eyes on him. He almost forgot about her presence as soon Akira started answering his messages. A gravely mistake from his part.

He quickly typed his address for Akira, then shut his phone.

“He will be there in a half hour.” he said curtly, but he couldn’t rewind time to prevent himself from slipping up in front of his own boss.

“I never thought I would see you acting like your age. “ Sae admitted with slight amazement in her voice. “I can’t help but wonder, who this mysterious somebody is.”

“Just a friend.” Goro quickly replied. His phone buzzed again and he immediately checked the messages out of habit.

[Are you hungry? Do you want me to buy something on my way there?]

《A bit.》

[Does “a bit” means that you forgot to eat again?]

_Bullseye_. As always.

《Between breaking my ankle and spending the day in a waiting room I had little time thinking about eating. Sorry.》

After that, Akira’s answers completely stopped, leaving Goro alone with Sae.

“I’m glad this friend of yours has good influence on you.” she started and twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “Even though, he _clearly_ takes away your attention from the world around you.”

“What do you mean?”

Sae only smiled at him in response. “The ever attentive detective breaks his ankle and the cause is so mundane as falling from the last step of a stair. But at the same time, something does not connect. The person in front of me never worked as good as these days, his co-workers say he has light in his eyes and shows a much more positive attitude toward his work. Whether you like it or not Akechi you’ve changed.”

“For the better, I assume?” he added uncertainly, he felt sweat trickling down his back.

“Absolutely. Inamori even mentioned something along the lines of a change of heart. At first, I thought it’s just a figure of speech, but I’ve been told that you visited Leblanc… Is that correct?”

Once again Sae proved herself in her field, because Goro felt not only cornered, but absolutely powerless against her. No wonder, him acting strange probably set off alarms in Sae and this, along with some curiosity led her to a private investigation on his expense.

“Yes.”

“How many times?”

“Just few times...” _a week_ , he wanted to add. Now that he thought about it his daily routine somehow adapted to Akira’s schedule. He would drop by even on weekends for no reason. Worst of it, it was all unconscious. His body moved on its own and he didn't even realize that he has been tricked until he heard that familiar voice calling his name…

“Akechi, you can stop lying. Your ears are already red.”

“No way.” he felt heat rush to his face. Sae was about to ask him, but the final needle in his coffin came in form of his doorbell.

“I’ll get it.” he said almost instinctively.

“Stay still.” Sae told him in a demanding voice and Goro couldn’t help but sit back and listen to the chaos unfolding at his door.

            It was true. You shouldn’t lie, because that lie will come to light sooner than you think.

 

***

 

When Sae arrived back with Akira in tow, his heart stopped. Akira ungracefully flopped down next to him, handing Goro a green, plastic lunchbox. He looked tenser than usually, stealing careful glances at Sae. Goro had never seen Akira act like this around anyone else, so he was tempted to ask, but kept silent and decided to play along… for now.

Anything to get Sae off his, or in this case, their tail. Furthermore, he could feel that deep down, she laughed at his previous statement of visiting Leblanc _once_ or _twice_.

“I bought you some curry. Hopefully, I didn’t shake around it too much on my way here.” Akira broke the silence around them, but Goro only managed a robotic:

“I’m sure it will taste good.” before accepting the box and putting it on his lap. Even through the plastic case, he could smell the curry and Leblanc’s special spices.

_I can’t believe you took a detour._

            But even with the smell of food and Akira next to him, this still felt like a real interrogation. Or rather, the talk parents gave their teenager kids on TV shows when they get caught.

“So… Long time no see, Sae.”

“Indeed. Has it been… Five years now, Kurusu?”

“Yes.”

“Based on your expression when I opened the door, is it safe to assume that you will keep an eye on Akechi?” Sae raised an eyebrow and Akira wordlessly nodded. “I intend to leave him in your care. Prevent him from leaving this house.”

“Well, fear not. His workaholistic advances will be halted.” Akira almost stuttered.

“Good. Akechi, from today you are on home office. I’ll send you the details in email.”

            Sae stood up and before both boys realized they heard the door click. Minutes passed as they sat in silence watching the spot where they last saw Sae.

They let out a relieved sigh when they realized she was gone for good, before Goro asked the question Akira didn’t really want to go into right now.

“Why do you know my boss?”

“Is it enough, if I say that I went to the same school as her little sister?”Akira shrugged.

“Only until the topic resurfaces again.” He told Akira, clutching the box in his hands.

It was unfair. He told Akira almost everything, he dropped the smile and wave facade around him and yet, Akira refused to do the same, pretending to be all right when he was clearly shocked. Just what happened five years ago? He wouldn't believe that it was only about knowing Sae through someone. Akira's face, the way he tensed up when Sae opened her mouth told him, that this was much more complex than he thought. And for some reason Goro felt it was his job to find out what’s eating the barista.

„You know, you should’ve just said no to my question about the beach.” Akira added with a playful smirk on his lips. “There was no need to break a bone because of that.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post it around the middle of september, but that month was slow and it took time to get used to the autumn order of the day. It's kind of crazy when everything it pitch black at 6am...
> 
> Lord Chaos still lurks between the lines, but it was fun writing Sae as the "Akechi you are bad at pretend"/ mother hen of the story even if it was just to serve as a prologue for The Real thing and how they will manage these three weeks.  
> I wanted to add more medical background info, until I realised that even reading about thrombosises and syringes took a toll on me... Instead we got Sae thinking "How did these two meet in the first place?"
> 
> I really can't wait to write about Goro interacting with a certain someone, to be honest. In this chapter we had Goro getting sparks of jealousy, though.


	12. Coward & Hero

            Goro was used to the loneliness and he never really demanded extra attention. Or at least not openly.

             When he got sick, he did everything alone; be it getting an appointment or just curing himself from a cold. From an outsider’s perspective, it might have looked like that he was really mature for his age; however, there was another reason why Goro decided to take care of himself instead asking for help. In the household, there was a golden rule; he couldn’t show any extremely visible signs of sickness. If Shido noticed, he locked Goro into his room to prevent the “spread” of whatever he brought home, thus making everything worse for the boy. After one particularly terrible case of illness, which sadly brought vomiting, among many other symptoms Goro decided that he needs to take care of his own health to prevent getting locked up.

            But when the trouble already poked him in the back, the best strategy was playing pretend, making sure nobody at school noticed his hazy eyes or his loss of focus when fevers got too bad. He sat through all of them with a smile, only seeking sleep and rest at his usual spot in the back of the library.  

            For all his life, he did his best to stay under the radar as much as it was humanly possible. And in the end, this poisoned his adult life too and his sick leaves would mostly stay untouched until Sae sent him home.

 

            Because of this, Goro was not used to attention. Especially the type of attention sprung from worry. He honestly had no idea what to do with Akira, whenever the youth asked about his health or did something unexpected just to make him feel better about his broken ankle. He joked about how he wants to eat something sweet but he can’t really go out of his apartment and Akira brought him a slice of strawberry cake on his next visit like he was on the verge of dying and a cake was among his last wishes. After that, Goro swore that he won’t get bested by unnecessary kindness even if it felt nice. He evaded every question, only shared as much information as it was needed to help him.

            However, Akira took his silent challenge pretty well and seemed to use his skills gained at the café to read Goro as an open book. It further deepened his problem that with free access to his home, Akira got to know unspoken facts about him while he helped around the house. Goro hoped that he wouldn’t find his tattered collection of tokusatsu DVDs but the moment Akira asked about his favourite show he knew that even that secret was unearthed along the rest.

            After that, Akira almost immediately insisted watching the movie for Neo Featherman Magic Ranger, the longest title he could find on the shelf.

 

 

            They sat side by side, Goro leaning into Akira’s side so he could rest his casted leg on a chair. The movie was admittedly cheap with effects from the eighties but it held some fond memories for Goro.

“This was the first movie mom and I rented when I was little.” he told Akira around the middle of the movie when the hero had to face the consequences of his reckless actions. “I remember. It was a rental vhs so the cover was really shoddy and had an ugly yellow-silver sticker.”

“They still had VHSs in rental? Just how old are you, Goro?” Akira glanced at him with faked curiosity, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Probably too old for Featherman.”

            This seemed to halt their conversation. The hero got his friends together and had a monologue about defeating the fox demon with their power combined.

“I think you’re never too old for the things you like. I mean, people who can genuinely enjoy something without thinking about other’s opinions… I think they are the happiest. There is no such thing as being too old for something.”

“An interesting thought.” Goro muttered, mostly to himself.

“Would you consider yourself to be one? I mean… happy.” Akira asked quietly, his words almost turned into whispers.

            Their silence was filled by the hero shouting the name of his special attack. Goro stared at the flashing pictures before he took a deep breath and answered the question.

“Well, if someone asked me this last year I’d have probably denied everything and said no. I couldn’t enjoy the slightest thing about my life and while Featherman kept reminding me that everything was much… worse. It didn’t give me any comfort” he once again let the old movie take over his words. As a kid, he clung to the justice the color-coded heroes symbolized, it was a type of escapism which kept his thoughts away from the harsh realities of their life. When his mother worked all day and had neither the energy nor time to play with him it was just innocent escapism, however after Shido, the pure fantasy twisted into a weird creature what kept his mind preoccupied and ended up as a vital part of his survival.

            Maybe he could be a hero who defeats his own evil stepfather and saves the day…

            The episodes still reminded his adult self of the ups and downs, but they mostly served as background noise without their old magic.

“But lately, it’s not that bad. I think I’m slowly relearning some things that I had false knowledge of.”

“False knowledge?” Akira asked at which Goro only shook his head.

“Well, knowledge born from overanalysing. _Mostly_. Pessimism was a part of it too.”

“Just like a blue ranger…” Akira noted earning a snort from Goro.

“What? Why blue?”

“Well you’re clever, charming, often noble, have good intuitions but sometimes stand in front of problems you can’t tackle with brains alone.” then he added “Blue or red would fit you. I’d be yellow or black.”

“The annoying jokester or the last _mysterious_ member? None of that really fits you in my opinion. You’re more of a leader type. The one who picks up his teammates when their mood goes down the drain. So, red.”

            Goro couldn’t see his face but seconds later heard Akira chuckling and he felt some extra weight on his side. Did he accept the explanation?

“Does that mean we’re rivals? After all, Red and Blue always have this rivalry going on in every show.”

“Do you want us to be?” Goro stole a glance. Akira stared at the small television for a while before answering.

“I’d rather skip it. Had enough rivalry in high school that will last me a lifetime. The rivals to friends sounds much better at this point.”

“I like the idea, though it wasn’t the first thing that came to my mind.” He trailed off. The friends after long rivalry sounded almost too nice. But he also thought about other possibilities after those scenarios, well, mostly possibilities brought up by girls. Still, it honestly scared him.

            They were nothing like fire and water, but rather, light and shadow, yet no matter what was the name given to the two opposite sides, they still attracted and complemented each other. Considering how never in his life he had his stomach churn when he thought about someone Goro already had a half-baked theory…

“Hm. Then what was it?”

“It’s not that important.” Goro shrugged but even that movement felt extremely forced. “Just like how you decided to keep some things to yourself. This is something I’d share later, when I’ve collected more clues.”

“Clues? Okay, you really are a blue ranger!”

            There was no way Goro could escape from the colour of blue.

 

             They watched the rest of the movie in silence. Goro slipped in and out of consciousness as the hour slowly neared nine. He woke up when Akira started moving next to him and cold air forced its way between their bodies, that made him groan and urged him to get back to their previous position.

“I should get going.” Akira told him quietly.

“Mm. You can stay if you want” Goro said almost automatically, he was not ready to let go of his human pillow. By the time he properly woke up, Goro realised what he said his words already reached Akira. “I mean, I certainly won’t throw you out. A-and I still owe you one?”

“Thank you.” Akira nodded. “But Sojiro will get my head off if I don’t open the shop in time. So, maybe tomorrow? I could bring spare clothes.”

“We will see, if my offer still stands. Maybe it was a once in a lifetime chance.”

            No, that offer never gets outdated.

            Goro knew that usually took Akira one and a half hour to reach his apartment. Which in itself was not unusual. However, the fact that he did this every day under the label of ‘Taking care of Goro’ worried the inspector. Three hours only to meet him, help around his apartment and entertain him only to get home around midnight, text with him and wake up at six in the morning.

It was inhuman.

It was wrong.

Telling Akira to only visit him twice a week would not do.

But there was a way.

            He wobbled on half leg toward Akira who was already collecting his sweater from the kitchen chair.

“Akira would you listen to my proposition?” he furrowed his brows as he came to a possible solution.

            The black-haired man only shrugged “Sure. But if it’s about limiting my visits my answer is no.”

“No… it is something else…”

“...”

“Look. You helped me a lot. Not just this week but for the past half year… But even I realize that making the trip to my apartment is tiring you out. I know you’re stubborn as a mule, so if I told you to stay at home you would just appear in front of my door the day after.” Goro looked straight into those eyes. He took a deep breath and decided to finish it before he changes his mind. “Probably it would be easier if I stayed at your place and not vice versa. I can work from my laptop and ask Sae to bring the papers to somewhere else, but you need to be at the café.”

“Wait. Wait just a minute. Does that mean that _you_ are worried about me?”

“That’s one way of saying it. Yes.”

            Akira looked at him in disbelief but Goro didn’t miss the red appearing at the tip of his ears.

“W-well you are a pleasant company, so I wouldn’t mind you staying for a week or two… But first thing first, I need to talk with the Boss. He is the one who lets me rent the place, after all.”

             Goro nodded. They both knew the answer already which wasn’t even surprising, but Akira was not used to not holding the reins and he was definitely not used to developments which he couldn’t foretell. It was probably because of some past events he refused to tell Goro or so the inspector thought.

 

***

 

            Needless to say, Akira spent the night cleaning up in that tiny attic-apartment of his, Barely getting any sleep from the stress that Goro will temporarily move in. In the end, he wasn’t proud of the progress as his books still formed towers on his desk when morning came.      The thoughts went around in a strange carousel style of way. Goro’s name coming up several times, which was usually followed by Sojiro telling him to stop being a scaredy cat. It wasn’t the act of asking permission, which made him nervous. No. It’s the fact that Sojiro knew him too well and probably already had a guess about his strange fixation on Goro.

 

“Kid, you look like a three days old corpse.” the man told him, when Akira finally dragged himself down the stairs. It was still before opening, so the café was rather quiet.

“Do I?” he took Goro’s usual seat at the counter.

“You’re not the type of person who would worry about anything. The world would end, and you’d be sleeping until eleven, so what happened?”

“Goro broke his ankle. And now he wants to stay here because it would be easier on me, and that’s fine, really and I want him to be here. But…” he stopped himself because he already said too much.

“Are you still worrying about that?” Sojiro asked, his firm voice had a fatherly tone. Akira could only nod. “The kid had a terrible life too, I guess. Based on his fakeries and lack of understanding on human kindness, it seems so. So what makes you think that he would reject you?”

“Maybe because I have a record? I was expelled from my uni? I don’t know, Sojiro. I worked so hard and I think we made progress, and now he is the one who wants to spend time with-” Akira seemed to realise that his voice got stronger with each word and decided to stop the flood of emotions that were about to drown him. “...me.”

            As on cue, Sojiro put down a cup filled with black coffee in front of him.  

“If he said that he killed a man, what would you do?”

“Sojiro, this is nonsense. He couldn’t work as a-”

“Just hypotheticaly. What would you do?”

            Akira thought for a moment, before taking a sip from his coffee and wincing from its bitterness. ”Since we are talking about Goro, I would ask him about it then listen to Goro’s side. He would never do anything without a reason, after all. I know that about him.”  
Sojiro smiled at him. “What makes you think that he wouldn’t do the same?”

“I... “ he sighed and looked abruptly down as if he just realized something. “Because I am stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I had time to wrap up this chapter properly! It was a ride, though this ended up more like a character-study, but also more on... Akira! Writing him in panic mode was a great experience! Also it makes me think: Just who is the true liar?
> 
> And in the meantime, I could do some research for chapter 13, like the lightshow at the Eiffel Tower in order to build up something really phantom thief-ish!

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to tell a heartwaming and really sad story. Gloomy and cheerful about falling into a deep hole and someone pulling you out of it. I wonder if I'll succeed...
> 
> Also, it's kind of embarassing, but I think I collected some rust so my writing is not as enjoyable as it used to be. While I translated books I think I forgot how to write...


End file.
